Use of religious power to seduce young men

Metal and Masculinity: Pt. 1

Here is a clip from Sam Dunn's documentary "Metal: A Headbanger's Journey" that explores gender and sexuality in heavy metal culture. If you ever get the chance, I highly recommend watching this documentary in full, but for the purposes of class, I'm just going to share the gender/sexuality parts with you.



I would like to examine a couple points in this documentary and expand on them a bit.

"Heavy metal has always traditionally been male-dominated. Fact. It was a boy's club, in the way that the music was very aggressive and wasn't particularly sympathetic towards getting a female audience. It wasn't excluding them deliberately, but it's the way it went."

Here, note that he is speaking of the unintentional isolation of women from the metal culture in the past tense. While women aren't anywhere near equally represented in the culture today, it's much better than it once was. In the '80s, perhaps 10% (Dee Snyder's estimation) of the audience was female (and many of them stood on the sidelines, "holding their boyfriends' jackets"), you now have closer to (in my estimation) 30% of the fanbase female. Even in some of the more abrasive genres, you're starting to see a lot more women at these shows fully participating. The last time I went to see Amon Amarth (death metal, gutteral vocals, viking warrior-themed), 1/3 of the audience, easily, was female, which I found very surprising. Many female-lead bands, such as Arch Enemy and Nightwish, have fan bases that are more predominantly female.

In the last 20-30 years, the shift in gender roles in our culture has made the masculine themes of heavy metal much more accessible to women. With more and more families composed of two working parents, and women playing a bigger role in the workplace as they fulfill their career aspirations, the strong music and "working-class ethos" of the metal culture are not as foreign to the female audience as they once were. Male fans are generally very welcoming of this shift, and, though they respond with surprise when they see a woman in a mosh pit or spewing growling vocals, they praise and encourage the participation, rather than shoving them out of the action or booing them off stage.

Whereas, it could be argued, emo music has feminized men and created a "crisis of masculinity", metal is starting to do the complete opposite, masculinizing women. But no one is calling this a "crisis of feminity" because if women are giving up their femininity and starting to act more like men, nothing of value is lost. I would also argue that metal isn't what's changing women in our culture; the changing fanbase is just a reflection of paradigm shifts in our culture. Similarly, with emo, I would argue that men in our culture are becoming more feminized for other reasons, and then gravitate toward emo, not the other way around.

"So strength is one of the elements [of metal], but also using tools very effectively is another part of that working-class, masculine ethos."

This was particularly interesting to me, and I had never thought of it this way before. Despite its rough outer appearance, heavy metal is extremely sophisticated musically. Performers should be able to play riffs, solos, improvise, etc. Back stage, they have a very tender, affectionate relationship with their instruments, and treat them almost as if they were their babies. If you are NOT able to achieve the high level of skill expected of a metal musician, you are ridiculed and feminized. Bands that call themselves metal, but aren't very good, are rejected by purist fans and sequestered to "lesser" genres such as hardcore, punk, and so-called nü metal. These genres are often ridiculed, assumed to be compensating, called gay, their fans called fags, and generally seen as outside of the masculine metal box. This isn't because the bands are considered "girly" or anything, however. It is because they lack skill, and are therefore seen as weaker, inferior. If they try to call themselves metal (or if anyone else tries to call them metal), they are put in their place quickly.

Note, that metalheads don't feminize/ridicule all musicians and fans of these genres necessarily. It is only when the fans and musicians attempt to catagorize these lesser musics as metal that the hostility shows. For example, no one at Metal Club would ridicule me for having Sum 41 or Linkin Park in my music library. They would, however, berate me if I tried to play their music at a club meeting as a means of claiming it as part of the genre.

"If you want to call it sexist, you could, but you'd be missing something. Masculine in Western culture means freedom. And women are always trying to tie them down and domesticate them, so that's part of the masculinity element"

Given this statement, it's easy to understand how metal became so obsessed with Satanism. Satan is not seen as an evil force (except perhaps in the roots of some of the earliest bands like Black Sabbath and Rainbow) so much as a great symbol of rebellion against an oppressive (in this context, feminine) God. In Viking metal, the phrase "The White Christ" doesn't imply purity; it implies cowardice and weakness. Satan is glorified as a rebel; case in point, Symphony X's "Paradise Lost" and the Norwegian black metal scene.

"Metal is probably the last bastion of real rebellion, real masculinity, real men getting together and basically beating their chests."

Notice that this member of Slipknot is saying this over clips of hardcore dancers "moshing" in a pit. The irony of this is that Slipknot is one of those nü metal bands that any metalhead worth his salt will tell you is pussy music, and that the kind of so-called "moshing" shown is a hardcore style of moshing (2-stepping, windmills, "hardcore dancing") that is not generally acceptable in purist metalhead circles. The dance style is more aimed at inflicting harm on others and deflecting self-injury, rather than real moshing which simulates diving into combat head-on, a style of dance that almost encourages you to get so rough that you hurt yourself. Indeed, I have seen people get injured and bloodied during mosh pits, only to later show off their wounds and receive high-fives and horn salutes for their brutality. The message here is that to really be masculine, you can't be afraid of pain. Interestingly, the message also seems to be that masculinity doesn't mean going out of your way to hurt others (unless of course your willing to sustain injury yourself).

And while I'm on the note of bashing Slipknot: he also says here, "Yeah, I love women and I'm totally respectful to them, but at the same time I'm a guy. I like hanging out with guys and doing dumb shit." I'm not really sure what he means when he says he respects women, since this statement is coming from a guy who dehumanizes his entire fanbase by calling them "maggots". He also equates masculinity with "doing dumb shit" which, honestly, isn't all that respectful of men either. If anything, it seems to me he confuses boyishness with masculinity. These are arguably not the same thing.

"I don't know how to explain it. I never questioned my sexuality at any point, and I was up there in lingerie! And my wife, then girlfriend, she was the one dressing me up half the time. I was going 'Okay, great, whatever. Stockings? Let's do it. It's gonna get more attention, it's gonna get me in trouble, let's do it. Gonna freak people out? Fuck yeah!'"

"What are you going to do if you want to rebel, as a man? You gonna get an even more severe suit than your dad? You know? You can't go that direction, but you can genderbend... so that being feminine is the most masculine thing that you can do in this world."

Tales of rebellion are part of the warrior stories that are central to the expression of masculinity. We live in a period of relative peace, in a world where we don't have to fight and kill on a regular basis to defend our home or feed our family. Themes of rebellion in metal are not always about fighting a righteous battle, such as in Iced Earth's "The Glorious Burden". In metal, musicians that dress in women's clothing and sing about Satan probably don't see themselves as oppressed, so much as they see themselves as having fun by picking a fight with cultural expectations. This can be seen in the attitudes expressed by glam metal and shock rock artists like Dee Snyder here.

When I talk about metal being a "celebration of masculinity", opponents often cite either token female artists, or glam metal. In a sort of reverse-psychology sort of way, being feminine is an expression of masculinity, in that it is an act of rebellion against gender norms, and also that a man must be very secure with his masculinity in order to emulate feminine characteristics.

"Heavy metal/rock 'n' roll is very masculine, very hetero. When a guy's up there in his skin-tight pair of leather pants and he's humping the air, they're not looking at it as, 'Awe man, he's shaking his dick at me!' They look at it as, 'Yeah man, yeah, fuck that chick. Whoa, man, I wish I was him; he must be getting laid!'"

Metal (today, at least) isn't overtly hostile toward homosexuality. When Rob Halford reunited with Judas Priest, he was welcomed with open arms. The gay guitarist in Dragonforce is sometimes teased for his sexuality, even on stage by other band members in front of a live audience, but the tone isn't any worse than any other homosocial interactions.

The phenomenon of males viewing other strutting males is another form of homosociality just like any other; there's nothing homosexual about it, as Dee Snyder confusedly seems to think ("Some doctors need to look into this. [laughs]"). I think, when compared to hip-hop, it's a much more healthy expression of masculinity, in that it never uses the commodification of women in order to achieve masculinity. If it does, it's very rare, and it's not in the same tone as hip-hop where men see women as "bitches and hoes". Listen to the lyrics of Mötley Crüe's "Girls, Girls, Girls" and you'll notice it's more about men taking pleasure in the female form, and even romance: "Girls, Girls, Girls / Long legs and burgundy lips... Dancin' down on Sunset Strip... Have you read the news / In the Soho Tribune / Ya know she did me / Well then she broke my heart."

Pro Wrestler Mick Foley Finds His Next Opponent: Sexual Violence

I saw Mick Foley (a.k.a. Pro Wrestler Cactus Jack) on my flight yesterday morning. I did not necessarily know who he was except that my plane neighbor was enamored. I looked him up on my phone and was like, "wow...interesting guy." He stuck out like a sore thumb in first class (not that *I* was in first class but I was in an early row so I saw him there;). Anyway, I posted his pic on FB because it was a random sighting and was then alerted to his wonderful work against sexual violence. Check this out (along with the title link...then look into him more if you don't know who he is). I am really interested in his simultaneous upholding and challenging of masculinity through his work. When we watch Wrestling with Manhood, it will also be useful to think about Foley, since the film is highly critical of pro-wrestling culture and its relationship to violence against women. He is now a prolific writer, an activist against sexual violence, and still films TNA wrestling (at Universal Studios in Otown). He basically bucks social expectation while challenging thinking about masculinity and violence against women. I'm envisioning a future Men Against Rape speaker possibility... :)

Venus Boyz Discussion

Respond to Venus Boyz in relation to any of the discussions, texts, or other films we have examined in this course. Think about how this film and/or its characters challenge(s), uphold(s), complicate(s), and/or provide(s) new insight (or not) into masculinity and gender as a construct or, as Judith Butler asserts, "performative"? How do you respond to the film's treatment of gender, trans issues, spectacle, etcetera? Does it marginalize or bring "other" to the center (or some variation)? Explore the Venus Boyz website (linked below) and respond to any component of the extended discussion on the website. You may or may not abide by these prompts, but I would like to see connections to other texts/discussions we have explored re: masculinity. 


Press Kit: including Interview with Director Gabriel Baur and interviews with performers (etcetera)


Venus Boys website (including quotes from Judith Halberstam I would like you to consider in your response): Click on "Topic" at bottom of screen then click on "Quotes from Halberstam".


You may choose one of the readings listed on our schedule for this week (I expect you to read at least one of them) and integrate this into your discussion. 


You should also respond to at least one classmate and engage in dialogue about the film. It should be evident you watched it and are making connections to the course as a whole, including various theoretical positions we have explored thus far. Your response should be a minimum of 250-words long. DO NOT SIMPLY INCLUDE YOUR OPINION OF THE FILM, but also connections and critical analysis. 


Hope you enjoyed it! Leandra

Shad - "Keep Shining"

Here's an alternative view to what we saw in Beyond Beats and Rhymes.



Lyrics:

I roll with clever broads
With goals like Federov
Seeking better jobs
instead of running scams like Set It Off
Some aren't the smartest but they know what they stand for
They don't let jams disrespect 'em on the dance floor
And though they never hit College like the Danforth
For damn sure they got each others back like a Jansport
Girls in a league of their own like Geena Davis
Nina Simone ladies, Tina Fey chicks
Christina Applegates and Bonita Applebaums
That don't mask and say, "nothing" when you ask what's wrong
That's what's up, they can laugh it up
And they don't pass the buck
Nothin's for certain, we all have to trust
Someone
I used to want to find the love of my life
Now I'm tryin' to live a life of love
It's not just a husband and wife thing
It's something that Christ brings
True beauty doesn't run from the light
Keep shining

And I've been known to talk about women
on a track or two
I talk to women, I just can't talk for women
That's for you
We need women for that
More women in rap
Even tracks like Kwali's Four Women
That's still only half the view of the world
There's no girls rappin' so we're only hearin' half the truth
What we have to lose? Too much
Half our youth aren't represented, the better halves of dudes
So we don't hear about your brain, just your brains
How you rock a fella, Stacey Dash dames
We just need your voice like an acapella
Something in the music's gotta change
A lot of things
It's funny how words like, "consciousness" and "positive music"
Can somehow start to feel hollow, it's
Become synonymous with polishing soft collagen lips
On the face of race politics
Well you can't be everything to everyone
So let me be anything to anyone
The world turns and there's clouds sometimes
But there's no such thing as a setting sun
It always keeps shining

My mom taught me where to keep my heart
My aunts taught me how to sing two parts
My sis taught me how to parallel park
Tried to teach me math but she's way too smart
My grandma in her 80′s is still sharp
My girl cousins an activism at art
They taught me there's no curls too tight
No mind to bright
No skin too dark to keep shining

Rebranding Menstruation.

Since men menstruating as a thought experiment was such a hot button issue during last class, I was so pleased to stumble upon this blog post, which my friend Kate, a Women's Studies graduate student who is currently teaching an Intro class, posted on Facebook. It specifically references "If Men Could Menstruate" and works from the idea that women should be collectively empowered in their ability to menstruate, and use it as a means of uniting together against certain other ills, such as domestic violence, as with the "Some girls bleed more than once a month" ad. Enjoy!

A Series of Questions

Click me for the photos

This ongoing body of work explores the power dynamics inherent in the questions asked of transgender, transsexual, genderqueer, gender-variant, and/or gender non-conforming people.

Many documentary photographic projects that deal with trans issues exploit the genders of their subjects, pointing to an "otherness" or inappropriately exoticizing their bodies. "A Series of Questions" seeks instead to make visible the transphobia and gender-baiting that can become part of everyday interactions and lives, forming a fuller picture of the various lived experiences. In so doing, this work contrasts with the dehumanizing approaches that predominate the images made of transgender and transsexual people, which often focus solely on their trans status or use them to further a specific point about social construction and gender.

The subjects, self-identified people of transgender, transsexual, genderqueer, gender-variant, or gender non-conforming experience, hold signs depicting questions that each has had posed to them personally-- some by strangers, others by loved ones, friends, or colleagues. Presented on white wooden boards, the questions are turned on the viewer, shifting the dynamics under which they were originally asked, and prompting the viewer to cast a reflective, self-critical eye upon him or herself, revealing how invasive this frame of reference can be.

As a greater number of subjects and questions are accumulated, a relentless conversation of questioning emerges. Presented together in democratic, square format, the images show how each question relates to the next, directing attention not on the backgrounds of the transgender and transsexual subjects, but on the dynamics at work in these conversations. I am interested in uncovering the typology of these questions, discovering what categories of questions emerge as the script of power dynamics and interrogation is flipped.

Skinny Bitch

I have just finished reading Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. This number 1 New York Times bestseller is "A no-nonsense, tough-love guide for savvy girls who want to stop eating crap and start looking fabulous." This is a humorous book that teaches women how to look and feel their best by avoiding “eating crap.”

It portrays descriptions of how animals are slaughtered and killed in the slaughterhouses. The book is aimed for young women and gives you pointers on how to become healthy by eliminating meat, dairy, fish, and poultry from your diet. It indirectly persuades you to try the vegan lifestyle.

After completing this book, it’s crazy to me how much emphasis and pressure is placed on women to look their best. It seems like women always have to look good, but its okay for men to be heavier to still be successful in society.

These are both really successful women who maintained a healthy lifestyle by following the suggestions they gave in the book. They guide women to help make intelligent and educated decisions about food.

Watch this short video where the TODAY Show interview the authors of Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin.

bathroom duty: a diary from the bowels of masculinity

hey ya'll,

hope everyone is having a good semester. i took this class a year ago, and i had a great experience. i hope the same can be said for all of you. anyways, i'm gonna plug my blog here: bathroom duty because i think it is relevant. i work in the bathroom at various local clubs, and am witness to some crazy aspects of masculinity. hope you enjoy reading.

"Delusions of Gender": The bad science of brain sexism

Books to go on the shortlist

More Links

Two blogs I read often that discuss trans issues are Questioning Transphobia and The Spectrum Cafe. I mentioned one in class last night so wanted to give you all a link. Enjoy!

Film Review Possibilities

There's so many amazing films to choose from to do our film review on, but I wanted to mention two that are lesser known that I think would also be great.

Soldier's Girl is based on a true story that deals with masculinity & the military as well as sexuality. It's an amazing film and I suggest everyone watch it (though very difficult to watch in many parts). I took an Art of Film class a few years ago and we watched this which amounted to some great class discussion.

Another one is La Mission, another one dealing with sexuality but also a lot to do with machismo and Latino masculinity. Bonus: this one is on Netflix instant viewing, if you have it.

bell hooks' Love for Black Men

Volunteer/SL opportunity

The Zebra Coalition is working on starting a hotline for GLBTQ youth in our area. They want it to be run 24/7 so lets try and help them out.

There is a mandatory trainnning session on Sept. 25th from 9am- 3pm. For more information click here

The Secret Lives of Boys and Girls

This is an interesting discussion regarding the "nature vs. nurture" sex/gender debate. Leandra

Def Poetry - Mark Gonzales - As With Most Men

As with most men it is easier for me to give hugs than to accept them
Lest the truth be known that men
are nothing more than emotional sky-scrapers built with glass infrastructures spray painted the color of steel and nick named strength
Strange isn’t it?
what walking contradictions are we called men
Men are taught to colonize at the age of 5 through gangs like cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians
At the age of 8 we are given helmets, and told to hit each other in the head with it,
Bleed but do not bleed
Cut but do not cry
Be a man
Join the military
Die for your country
And if death comes to you look it in the eye and say
“bring it on motherfucker I fear nothing…but intimacy”
When it comes to intimacy men quiver like fault lines, crumble like cities
What walking contradictions are we called men.
Men sign peace accords while abusing their wives
Accept the Nobel Peace Prize while reducing health care
Pledge to rid the world of terrorism, while simultaneously denying government aid to any country that defends a woman’s right to choose
During the 1970s, the US government forcibly sterilized an estimated 50% of the indigenous population of America’s mid-west
Telling them the process was reversible
Can you say ‘biological terrorism’?
And in a global war against terror maybe testosterone is the real terrorist
And if so, how many of these star spangled singing, flag waving citizens
Would continue to do so if terror was not racialized
But gendered
Would the US military turns its guns on itself
For its sex crimes throughout South East Asia, Africa and the Americas?
Would MTV be firebombed for its objectification, hypersexualization of our womens of color’s bodies?
Would we stop looking towards the Muslim world for misogyny and instead turns our sights to Madrid, Montreal,
New York
Los Angeles
And now understand my sisters when they say “every woman has a story that’s been told a maximum of once or maybe less”
And that is why you will never hear me call a women slut, bitch or dyke
No matter what she does
‘Cuz I do not blame her
I blame the men who have emotionally and physically raped her
I blame these corporations whose images tell her they hate her
And I put my arms on her shoulder and tell her how grateful I am to God that she created her
Men take note this is how you give love
This is how you receive hugs
Press flesh to flesh
‘til breasts crumple
Like emotional origami


--

Just came across this and felt it was appropriate to share with the class. I found the text transcript on a blog and I think it's mostly accurate

Just a Side Note for Week 3

This week's film like every other film in the Womans studies minor have enlightened me and always leave me wanting to know and learn more. But on a side note i'm not much of a music enthusiast with any specific genre but i did get in touch with my best friend and whom i like to call my Hip hop guru. The music that was seen on the video i like to think to consider are a subgroup of Hip Hop. I was very disappointed that he only had JadaKiss,Fat JOe and several other artisits but which only mostly represent main stream hip hop. Although they are artists that represent mainstream media which are affecting the higher % of boys and young men, there's another side of hip hop mostly what is called underground Hip hop which is more social conscious and oriented towards talking about issues that we see which is artists like Nas, Big L, Inmortal Technique.The youtube video is the song of Blu & Exile- Show me the Good life(excuse the language). And although they are what we consider mainstream the music brings out a message. This is what in my opinion is real music.

Sorry on the delay but i've been working on this post for a while, i wanted to point out a good song.I feel this song demonstrates what somne young men are struggling with. Hope you enjoy

I got a call from my girl last week
She telling me about that time of the month, and how it may not come
Dropped the phone right before she said i might have a sun
And i started asking God how come
I got dreams i aint reach yet, ends that aint meet yet
And when it comes to being a man, shit im barely getting my feet wet
Trying to hit reset, knee deep in debt
Trying to figure how you feed a mouth that aint got teeth yet
How the hell am i gonna show a child to be man
When im twenty two without a clue on how to take a stand
Against the system when its just us
Wanna show him justice, but last year i was just in cuffs
The fuck am i supposed to do when he's telling me dad i need some food
Im looking down at my stomach and mines is rumbling too
What could i tell him when he's twenty two
And he's asking me what the fuck was i thinking when mommy's tummy grew
Was i scared? was i getting prepared?
Or did i even think of leaving him without a father's care?
Should i tell him that its hell here and life aint fair?
Or should i try to make a change when he's pulling on my leg
And he keeps on telling me to....

(show me the good life)
Show me (4x)

Wont somebody show me, its a few things my popa never told me
Maybe cuz his stone is still rolling, no moss yet
Its a few things my momma never told me to mold me
But her soul is so golden the way she floss it
And i aint mad at they secrets though
Its a hard sell to tell a young child bout ya' deepest low
But i done seen through they weakness so
I understand a little bit on how defeats can slow
You so far down that your meekness grow
And everyday it get colder when the breezes blow
Grandmomma sat me down said you need to know
Boy you a little light in this world, let your heat just glow
Have patience, some things take time
It aint no limit to the goals you hold in ya' mind
Let the soul in you climb to you reach the gates of heaven
Like your chariot its carrying children who've gone blind
And you gone get them they sight back, when all they see is night black
Believe in every thing that you doing and just like that
Things'll happen for you, keep shinning them rays
Its bright enough to spread grace over a million graves
Of a million slaves, to bring honor to the elders
Who held us away from danger, when the danger would've killed us
They never failed us, let they souls have peace
And follow in they footsteps, you brothers to keep in this good life

(show me the good life)
Show me (4x)

Its so much i can show you, without rolling through beverly hills
Without money, cars, clothes or even ecstasy pills
I dont need weed to ease me when im stressing, fa'real
I just close my eyes and try to think how heaven feels
Just to feel good again, even though i know when i open them
Its back to the hood again where kids hold chrome with them
Just to feel protected cuz the videos are showing them
How to shoot fools and take they doe from them
Thats why i try to give my soul to them in lyrics i spit
They reject it cuz they stressing for material shit
They getting sick and tired of fighting over cereal gifts
Cuz they notice bitches go head over hills for the whips
And the chains, and the chips, and the range and the clips
And the guns, and the women and the fun
Living in cribs in the 'burbs, fuck the slums, they want funds
And they heard flipping birds is the ticket
They get it and they run with it
Some slip and fall, others pause, see the out come and call
On the Lord for some change cuz the game is too hard
To play straight by the rules, im trying to stay out the news
And make cake to buy food, fuck jewels
I think my soul glows bright enough, and fuck whips
I learn more when i ride the bus, and fuck gold
Its bad enough that we fight for bucks, and fuck hoes
Cuz in the end i need a wife to love
Plus heaven is the life for us, so God...

(show me the good life)
Show me (4x)

Bem Sex Role Inventory (BSRI)

Here is the link for the Bem Sex Role Inventory referred to in the Macho article from Week 3. This one is cool because it will score for you--which categories "seem" masculine, feminine, neutral? Who decided? This was created in 1971 (the inventory itself)--do you think it would measure differently if created today?

More about BSRI (lots of ads in the article but it's informative and accessible).

How did you score? Do you think it's accurate? Are these categories even measurable?

Ballet over Boxing / Film: Billy Elliot

Check out this film: Billy Elliot.

I haven't seen it yet (just ordered it on Netflix) but it looks great and relates to our Men Speak Out reading, "Straight Guys Can Dance, Too" by Jared Margulies (pgs. 40-42) and our class in general. Some web descriptions below:

Set against the background of the 1984 Miner's Strike, Billy Elliot is an 11 year old boy who stumbles out of the boxing ring and onto the ballet floor. He faces many trials and triumphs as he strives to conquer his family's set ways, inner conflict, and standing on his toes! Written by filmtwob

1984: In a northern England mining town, miners are on strike and the atmosphere is tense. Eleven-year old Billy Elliot, whose father and brother are participating in the strike, whose mother has died quite some time ago and whose grandmother is not completely aware of what's going on, doesn't like the brutal boxing lessons at school. Instead, he falls for the girls' ballet lessons. When his folks find out about this unusual love of his, Billy is in trouble. Being supported by the ballet teacher, Mrs. Wilkinson, he keeps on training secretly while the work situation as well as the problems at home get worse. Finally, Mrs. Wilkinson manages to get Billy an audition for the Royal Ballet School, but now he also has to open his heart to his family. Written by Julian Reischl

Against the background of an increasingly bitter miners' strike that his elder brother and father are involved in, young Billy Elliot finds he prefers joining in the girls' ballet class at the local hall to the boxing he's there for. The ballet mistress soon realises he has real potential, but no-one, least of all his family, is likely to go along with a lad doing dancing. Written by Jeremy Perkins

Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes

Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes (the film)

MEF Study Guide (info, insight, questions)

PBS Discussion Guide (info, insight, classroom guide)

How does the film relate to the notion of caveman masculinity, hegemonic masculinity, Butler's gender performance, or other theories we have examined thus far? 

Where does R&B play into all this? Is(n't) R&B a more positive reflection of masculinity/manhood in African-American contexts? Is R&B like emo where masculinity is concerned? Or is R&B such a different aesthetic that it doesn't touch rap (especially gangsta rap) culture sufficiently? 

The Spring Break groping/filming scenes are (in)tense. Where is the line between "reflecting culture" or "acting out" and straight up sexual assault? Who decides? What do you make of that behavior in the film as related to hip hop, popular culture, and/or masculinity?

So much to say about this film. Think about it as you read for next week's class and make connections. Of course we can talk about all of this all semester. Feel free to respond in any way, shape, or form...these questions are just food for thought. 

Leandra

My thoughts on the readings for week 3

As I was reading through this weeks stories in Men's Lives, about cultural constructions of masculinity, I really learned a lot about men. I've learned that it's not so easy to be a guy and all men are not created equal after all. This chapter is primarily about Asian men not being treated equally as other men in the United States. The next chapter that I read is titled "Boyhood." The articles in this chapter talk about how boys develop and the factors that shape boys lives. After reading all of the articles I now have a better understanding of men's lives and the "Theories of Masculinity."

Just as a side not because we have been talking about the "caveman theory," John Tobia who is running for Florida House District 31 has said the following:
“If I ruled the country men would still be beating their women, and dragging them home by their blonde hair” –John Tobia

This is definitely a serious issue because not only is this man running, he is currently in the seat right now! He has said other things against women implying that they are not competent enough to vote and such but just this specific quote goes along with everything we talked about concerning the "caveman theory" and how it plays out in society.

Realizing Masculinities (Call for Papers) Deadline: March 13th, 2010!!

CALL FOR CONTRIBUTIONS: “Realising Masculinities” DiaV Quinto 2010


DiaV Quinto, Spain, is inviting artistic contributions on the theme of “Realising Masculinities” for an exploratory and interdisciplinary community project to be exhibited in March-April 2010 in Quinto, Spain.

DiaV Quinto 2010 is a community project which raises funds and awareness through benefit productions of Founder Eve Ensler’s play The Vagina Monologues. Another important part of the project is the experiential workshops Love Your Body facilitated by the best national and international experts on the field of gender. The workshops are about (re)presentation, designed from the belief that we can only ultimately conceive ourselves and one another in relation to the circulation available of images in any given society (Watney1997, p.8 [1987]). That is to say, how we individually think of gender violence, and respond to it, depends primarily on our own relationship to our sexuality and to our bodies.

After the success of our Vagina(s) Exhibition, Realising Masculinities was born of a public demand of men to take into account their voices on the issue of gender violence. We realised that most of the work on gender violence focuses only on women as victims or, recently as vagina warriors, but relatively little community work is done to account for men’s experiences of manhood (see IDS report on “Politising Masculinities: Beyond the Personal, 2007)

Realising Masculinities will consist of an open free exhibition in Quinto’s Civic Centre and the neighbourhood villages that will hold all the illustrations and creative submissions about men’s sexuality submitted not only by the community members of the county but wider participants.  

We are seeking words, drawings, photographs, illustrations, short poems and other creative submissions which may consider, amongst other things:

-       Words on men’s sexuality

-       Re-thinking the men’s genitalia

-       Artistic representations of the male genitalia

-       Artistic representations of men’s body, from the men’s body

-       The relationship of men to their genitalia
Deadline to send creative submissions is 13^th of March. You can send your drawings to:

Arantxa Porroche c/o Natalia Subias

C/ Ramon y Cajal s/n

Quinto CP. 50770

Zaragoza

Spain

For more information, email Ana Porroche Escudero on

a.porroche-escudero@sussex.ac.uk

CALLING ALL MEN!

Calling all Men:

What are the Top 5 reasons

you should be involved in the

UCF V-Day benefit production of

“A Memory, a Monologue, a Rant and a Prayer?”

1. Mother

2. Girlfriend

3. Sister

4. Friend

5. Daughter

Come out and AUDITION!!!!

February 1^st & 2^{nd in MAP 108}

^From 6-10pm

Performance dates are March 18^th-20^th

&25^th-27^th

^{For a copy of the monologues you can go the Facebook group}  

({}) UCF V-Day 2010 ({})

 

 

All proceeds from this year’s event will go to SOAR

Speaking Out About Rape

 

 

You do not need to memorize the monologue, or bring anything with you to the audition (headshots are expensive, don’t waste them on us!)

If you cannot attend the audition, or you’d like more information on the event please contact Carol at imagine7782@aol.com

Journal of men, Masculinities and Spirituality

This was posted on my Women's Studies (WMST-L) listserv.

Subject: Journal of Men, Masculinities and Spirituality


A new issue of Journal of Men, Masculinities and Spirituality is now
available online on an open access basis. Volume 4, Number 1 (2010)
contains:

Editorial:
Joseph Gelfer, Both Remedy and Poison: Religious Men and the Future of Peace
(pp. 1-5)

Articles:
Stephen Boyd, On Being Here with Others: Space, Identity and Justice (pp.
6-18)
Roland Boer, Of Fine Wine, Incense and Spices: The Unstable Masculine
Hegemony of the Books of Chronicles (pp. 19-31)

Book Reviews:
Joseph Gelfer, Review of James Houghton, Larry Bean & Tom Matlack, The Good
Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood (pp. 32-33)
Robert J. Myles, Review of Heather Ellis and Jessica Meyer (eds.),
Masculinity and the Other: Historical Perspectives (pp. 34-36)
Björn Krondorfer, Review of John Powers, A Bull of a Man: Images of
Masculinity, Sex, and the Body in Indian Buddhism (pp. 37-40)
Joseph Gelfer, Review of Björn Krondorfer (ed.), Men and Masculinities in
Christianity and Judaism: A Critical Reader (pp. 41-42)
Philip Culbertson, Review of Chen Z. Oren and Dora Chase Oren (eds.),
Counseling Fathers (pp. 43-46)
Márcia Elisa Moser, Review of Heike Walz, David Plüss (eds.), Theologie und
Geschlecht. Dialoge querbeet (pp. 47-50)

Please refer to our website for further information: http://www.jmmsweb.org

Kind regards,
Joseph.
--
Dr Joseph Gelfer
Editor, Journal of Men, Masculinities and Spirituality

.:: www.jmmsweb.org ::.

Author, "Numen, Old Men: Contemporary Masculine Spiritualities and the
Problem of Patriarchy"
.:: http://tinyurl.com/desl9s ::.

Boy has been suspended for having hair that was TOO long!

I attached a link to an article that I found today. So this little boy is not allowed to have hair that goes in his eyes or is past his earlobes. Earlier today there was a video link with an update on yahoo news but I can't find it now. :( Well I hope you all find this article interesting.

Also I miss this class SO MUCH!

Closing Remarks, sort of...

First, this was one of the most AMAZING classes I have had the pleasure of teaching and I'm thrilled you were with me through our first offering of Masculinities. It was more challenging than I anticipated to have some of the discussions we did and I was consistently impressed with how you handled them--passionately but with respect. Our classroom community was one that many professors can only hope for. You all challenged each other and (especially;) me and I appreciated the energy and enthusiasm you brought each Thursday. I will definitely miss it. We should have a masculinities reunion. Or actually have another feminist dinner party (some of you were at the first one a couple years ago and it rocked). I will also continue to work with and help grow Men Against Rape so I hope to see many of you at meetings and events. Hopefully meetings won't conflict with my class schedule as they did this semester... I strongly encourage you to work with and/or continue working with Men Against Rape; support is especially important for new organizations.

I know the class is over but the blog is still here. I will teach this class f2f in the Fall and online in the Summer (most likely) so it will be very active during those semesters but I would like to keep it active throughout the year, whether or not it's a class requirement. So feel free to continue posting and checking it (you can get RSS feeds when someone posts or just check in periodically). I will keep you as contributors/authors unless you would prefer to be taken off. If that is the case, just send me an email and I'll remove you as an author.

Also, if you would like to continue working with Animal Safehouse, please let me know by email and I will put you on our email/call lists.

Enjoy your break/holidays and I hope to see you all in the near future. Thanks again for a wonderful and challenging semester. xo, Leandra

Queer Liberation? No Thanks, We’ll Pass

Sooooo I found this really awesome essay by Brent Calderwood. Now I know the class is over-ish but as I read the essay I couldn't help but connect it back to the class. It's about queer men's masculinity and I found it very interesting because it deals with many issues within the queer community itself like racism, sexism, body image, and all that fun stuff. Its 3 pages long but worth the read.

keep fighting against injustices. don't ever stop fighting.

http://allpoetry.com/tag/show/feminism

Take a look at the poems on the link above.
So real.
and raw.
and necessary.

continue to write.
blog.
speak up.
and speak out.
because your voices *are* heard.
and important.
and *you* do make a difference.
inside and outside of the classroom.

peace. love. and respect. Ari. xoxo
_____________________________________________________

Good Men, This Goes Out To You
This poem goes out to the teacher who made me cover up on a hot day,
When all the little boys ran around
- Free & shirtless-
When I was only 3.
Who taught me that my body was something I must hide.

This goes out to the teacher who didn't believe me
When i said I was almost raped at the age the age of 5
Because he claimed my accusation was untrue.
Who taught me that a man's word was better than mine.

This goes out to the church who told me
that i didn't need to have the same .positions. that men had
because I had the privilege of bearing children.
Who taught me that separate was equal.

This goes out to the men who gave me my first drink
at the age of 13
Then gave me another after another
and then tried to take advantage of me in a locked bathroom.
2 men against 1 girl
who would have succeeded
had I not been so pissed off at the world at that point
that i never left my house unarmed.
Who taught me to never take anything from a man trying to be nice to me.
Who taught me that women don't have the privilege to drink without a sober friend
like men do.
Who taught me that woman don't attack men when their drunk
but a drunk man will be all over you.
Who taught me that law says that a bottle is a good enough excuse to take the word NO
and crumble it into a million pieces.
Who taught me that drunk women can't be raped
They can only be stupid.

This goes out to the countless men who scare me.
Who corner me on the streets with their cars.
And on the sidewalks with their bodies asking me, "How much?"
Who taught me that a woman walking alone, must be for sale.

This goes out to the men who holler out their cars and make cat-calls in the street.
Who taught me that my body is open to review by any man who sees it.
Who taught me that i am always being watched.

This goes out to the men who hit on me and ask me out in front of my partner.
To the men who tried to sleep with me, knowing that I'm a lesbian.
Who taught me that women can't really love without the presence,
or permission, of a man.

This goes out to my mother, who gives me brother all the opportunities i never had.
Who taught me that I can't handle, or do, anything a man can.

This goes out to my father
who has never lived more than 30 minutes away from me,
but goes years at a time without seeing me,
yet always makes time for his son.
Who taught me that if I were born a boy, I would have been loved more.

This goes out to the retailers who never have clothes or shoes in my size.
Who taught me to be ashamed and embarrassed of my body.
Who taught me that real women don't look like me.
Who taught me that it is not acceptable in this society to be who I am.

This goes out to my mother again.
Who throughout all the emotional abuse her husband put us through,
said nothing.
Who taught me a woman's place in a marriage.

This goes out to my peers who taught me I was nothing if I couldn't get a boyfriend.
Who taught me that my success is determined by the man I'm with
and my worth measured by his happiness.

This goes out to the people who have cheated on me and broken my heart
Who taught me that you have to be beautiful by societies standards to earn and deserve loyalty.

This goes out to myself,
for crawling back to the people who have hurt me
Who taught me that I don't deserve better.

This goes out to the person who left me for an African woman
and told me that they got tired of milk chocolate
and wanted to try dark for a change
Who taught me that multiracial isn't really a color of race and so
I have to work harder to be loved.
Who taught me that i am the "other" circle, the broken puzzle pieces that no longer fits into a perfect picture, and must therefore work harder to belong.

This goes out to my great uncle who molested my cousin.
Who taught me that there is no man I can trust.

This goes out to my 2 uncles, who together have 25 children with different women.
Who taught me that 1 woman isn't worth a fraction of 1 man.

This goes out to my grandfather,
who traveled to American and stranded my grandmother,
my mother, and my uncle, and my aunts in Jamaica
so he could have a life and have fun.
Who taught me that only men have dreams
Who taught me that raising children is woman's work.

This goes out to the men who see these wrong in the world
And do nothing to inspire change.
Who taught me why women are afraid to speak up and make a difference.

Good men,
We need you to
Start and Lead
A Male Revolution.

I cannot change you,
I can only Speak Up and
Tell the Truth.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
What lessons do you leave behind?
What do your actions and choices teach?
This poem goes out to You...


- anonymous

F BOMB

http://thefbomb.org/2009/12/men-can-be-feminists/

Objectify This!

I ran across this blog while doing some research for Men Against Rape. The articles are all very much related to topics we have read about and discussed and I thought it worthy to share with you. It also has many other links to resources and other articles on the web. It's called Objectify This .com and the title links to the blog.

Exxxtra!

yo! if y'all wanna post your extra blogs here would be a great place :D

The Toilers and the Wayfarers

I decided to my film review on a film called “The Toilers and the Wayfarers”. It is an independent American film that was released in 1997. The story is about two friends, Dieter and Phillip, in a small midwestern town who are both secretly gay, but can't be open about it because of their small town's conservative values. Coincidentally, a lazy and rebellious relative from Germany comes to live at Dieter's house which then leads them to all end up in a big city where they try to find their true identity.

The film is riddled with different ideas, representations, references, and confusions regarding people's personal masculinity as well as the judgement of others.

One of the first striking incidences where someone's personal masculinity comes into conflict with their life is when Dieter's friend Phillip tries to kiss him after they lock eyes. They kiss for a split second until Phillip seems to become disgusted and leaves his friend out in the forest. Phillip calls for him to come back while yelling that it was only a joke, but Dieter never turns around. Phillip ends up disappearing for quite some time, while Dieter claims that the situation disgusted him. Dieter's attraction to men as well as his friend Phillip, certainly creates an internal struggle for him. His father is very conservative and macho as well as physically abusive. He ends up calling Dieter's straight friend a “faggot” because they hang out too much. The small town's heteronormative expectations certainly plays a part in this, too. Later in Dieter's sexual maturation, he becomes sexually active with Phillip. So , it is safe to say he wasn't actually disgusted by their quick kiss, but more disgusted in himself.

Another instance that I would like to discuss further, is how close, but non-sexual same-gender friendships can make people uncomfortable. They also can make people assume it's sexual, because the thought of two men who are extremely close emotionally can be seen as anti-masculine. The mysterious German relative, who is much older than Dieter, begin to have a very close relationship. They talk about everything and spend lots of time together. To have that kind of relationship without being sexual or gay seems impossible for many. Male friendships are a commodity, in a sense, that are often regulated through certain actions to keep the popular image of heterosexuality alive. When someone rejects this and has a more intimate than usual, albeit non-sexual, relationship many people tend to make assumptions. The father begins calling the German relative, Udo, a “faggot” and begins to worry that he and Dieter are sexually active. Strangely enough, it is his own son with same-gender attraction and there is no sexual relationship between them.

Thirdly I am going to discuss how having homophobic understandings of masculinity create tension that is completely unnecessary which can destroy families, who otherwise, might be much healthier. When Dieter runs away from home without ever letting his family know where he is, he becomes a gay sex worker. He eventually is caught up in a sting operation by police officers. The police officers identify him and call his parents who are at first relieved to hear an update about their son. Then they hear how he was soliciting sex to men and refuse to come pick him up. They apparently miss their son enough to be excited to have a police officer call and say that they have him in their custody. But, their homophobic bias leads them to destroy any relationship that they could have recreated with their son. So, the homophobia of the parents not only hurt their son, but hurt their own quality of life by making it seem unthinkable to have a healthy relationship with him.

Overall, I enjoyed how the film showed how certain ideals of masculinity expectations can harm various aspects of peoples lives. For instance, homophobia can hurt more than just gay people, but it can also ruin the relationships and potential friendships of straight people by having expectations of a masculinity that doesn't include certain natural human experiences. 

No Homo

I watched The Ugly Truth this weekend and I think that movie would be good for film reviews next semester. It's based on what "men really want". It starts off saying all men want a nice tight ass and want their woman to look good. The whole movie is based on how to get a man and all the things a woman mist do to get one. It's really sad it just reinforces how women are expected to look and act a certain way. My boyfriend and his roomates were watching a video on "no homo" how men if tey say something that could be pereived as gay they say "no homo" which my boyfriend and his friends were laughing at how these guys were trying to act all masculine by saying that. I was happy they were above the men in the video. I posted it here;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBkYdUgl3-M

WATCH it!!

Good Hair

Chris Rock’s movie Good Hair, is a documentary about the social significance of black women’s hair. Rock notes how society equates a woman’s worth with her hair. He illustrates how black women cannot attain any worth with her natural hair, but must instead strive to have hair that looks caucasian. In one particular scene, Rock visits a barbershop full of men with whom he discusses men’s relationships with women’s hair. This topic is similar to the topic brought up in Venus Boyz. Hans Scheirl shaved ze’s head because ze found that men associated women’s hair with their sexual worth. Good Hair also makes this point, illustrated by the men’s discussion about how they might prefer a white woman because she doesn’t have to do as much maintenance or limits on her hair.
Hans’ analysis of men’s relationship to women’s hair is interesting. This relationship was touched on in class when analyzing about men’s friendships. Men must prove that they are heterosexual when bonding with male friends to exhibit, and reassure, that their relationship is not homosexual in any way. As Lyman states in The Fraternal Bond as a Joking Relationship: A Case Study of the Role of Sexist Jokes in Male Group Bonding, Homophobia is inherent in straight men’s bonding, and the men in the friendships rely on objectifying women in order to negotiate that tension. One way that men objectify women is by commodifying pieces of their body. Hair is believed to be one aspect of a woman that is often commodified in society. Women are often considered sexy or sexual solely on the quality, or whiteness, of their hair. Men joining together by putting women down in a subordinate place is one aspect of socialized masculinities. According to Lyman, “shared aggression toward an outsider is one of the primary ways by which a group may overcome internal tension and assert its solidarity” (ML, 148). This is exactly what men are doing to women, which has been taught to men as they are socialized to be masculine from birth.
The men in Good Hair also used many sexist jokes when talking about black women’s hair. Lyman states, “ uncovered the use of sexist jokes in creating bonds between men; through their own joking relationships (which they called friendships), the guys negotiated the tension between their need for intimacy with other men and their fear of losing their autonomy as men to the authority of the...world” (ML, 149).
In class we discussed men in the family and the stereotypes of father/husbands in the media. Men are generally portrayed in commercials and other advertisements, as we saw in class, as unable to fulfill the women’s role in the family. This role includes child care and the emotional development of children. However, Chris Rock defies this stereotype by exhibiting that he takes an active role in the emotional well-being of his daughters. We are informed in Good Hair that Rock’s inspiration comes from a statement that his daughter made. Rock explains that his daughter asked him why she didn’t have good hair. As we’ve discussed in class, men are capable of being emotional and full-time Dads. Donald N.S. Unger talks about the negative stereotypes of fathers in the essay Judging Fathers: The Case for Gender-Neutral Standards. According to Unger, “what I’m asking for as a fully engaged father is essentially the same thing that women have been fighting for in the professional sphere for forty years or more: a gender-neutral standard of assessment” (MSO, 211).
Chris Rock also defies the stereotype of the Black man, more specifically the Black Father. The stereotype is far worse for Black men than Caucasian men. Black men are portrayed in the media (e.g., rap) as aggressive and sexist beings. Chris Rock disproves this stereotype and sheds a positive light on black men by making a movie about and for the betterment of his daughters and his black sisters. Also, this asserts Chris as being a consciousness-raising agent within the movement. Not only is he educating his daughters, but also millions of others who are unaware. Osayande discusses the prevalence of sexism within the Black community in the essay Redefining Manhood: Resisting Sexism, but Rock fights this stereotype by displaying his feminist ideals in Good Hair.
Rock’s documentary showed an aspect of masculinity that is raced. Black masculinity is something that we should think about more when talking feminism, instead of simply speaking of white men’s masculinity. Black masculinity is overdetermined due the many questions one could ponder about Black men’s social behavior that has been socially constructed for him. Through Chris Rock’s film and his open-mindedness we may gather that masculinity varies depending on the individual’s social awareness.

Film Review: Murder Ball

The film “Murder Ball” is a documentary about a men’s quadriplegic rugby team. The film follows players of the U.S. wheel chair rugby team as they compete at the 2004 Paralympics. The rugby players share their struggles and successes as quadriplegics as well as document their interactions with their friends/ family/ each other. This film review will address three questions regarding quadriplegic men and masculinity:

1. In what ways do the men in Murder Ball redefine masculinity as quadriplegics?
2. In what ways to the men in Murder Ball re-enforce traditional masculinity

3. In what ways are quadriplegic women denied access to Murder Ball? And are quadriplegic women at a greater disadvantage than quadriplegic men in our society?

 

If society were to define what it means to be a “man” it would certainly include characteristics such as independence and self- reliance which are characteristics that are much more easily accessed by able- bodied individuals. So how do men living as quadriplegics maintain their “manhood” if they are unable to successfully fulfill these defining characteristics? It was interesting watching the men in this film interact with each other in a way that was so traditionally masculine in one sense, and so untraditional in another. A portion of the documentary was focused on romantic relationships that the Murder Ball men were engaged in and how being quadriplegic changes their sex lives. In one sense their self- disclosure with the camera crew challenged the construction of masculinity in that “men” do not admit to their shortcomings and challenges that they’ve had particularly when it comes to having sex (which is supposedly the pinnacle of manhood). However when the camera crew began filming the men interacting with each other and their and especially with their able- bodied friends, the men were much more adamant about proving their masculinity by saying how much they “love a women with big tits” and make other sexist comments that assured them a place amongst “the guys” despite their disability. It was as if they were overly assert their masculinity and male privilege in order to make up for the ways in which they are not privileged.

 

The men in Murder Ball made it a point to say repeatedly how rough and aggressive this sport was and how even though they are quadriplegic they can still “kick some ass”. This hyper masculine aggressive attitude was a common theme throughout the film and represents the key way in which these men affirmed their masculinity to themselves as well as to society.

 

Watching this film was both empowering and frustrating at the same time. Although I felt extremely empowered by the disadvantaged men empowering each other and making such a powerful statement for folks with disabilities- it was frustrating to see that these were predominately white men with economic privilege. It seems that while this demographic of people with disabilities were able to re-gain acceptance into society, other groups with these same disabilities would have a much harder time. This double standard can be seem in many areas of society for example, it is much easier for a man to be over weight and still be respected in society than for an over weight woman or person of color. I believe that this double standard is also visible with people with disabilities, in that society is much more likely to accept and create space for men with disabilities (particularly men adhering to traditional masculinity) than women with those same disabilities.  

Film Review: TV sitcom FRIENDS (The one with all the hypermasculinity)

Film Review: TV Show FRIENDS
(The One with all the hypermasculinity)

The television show Friends is a program I grew up with and watched every week. I would recite one-liners with my friends on a daily basis and wanted the “Rachel” haircut the infamous hairdo that Jennifer Anniston’s character was known for in earlier seasons. This program depicts 6 close friends, 3 of them being male-identified, Ross, Chandler and Joey the other 3 female-identified, Monica, Rachel and Phoebe all of them being white, heterosexuals living in a trendy area in the village in New York City. Their world is like a Manhattan fairytale of rent controlled apartments, beautiful people, coffee houses, and finances that have a way of just working out. Friends depicted a white homogenous life in the exciting city of New York and had an impact on United States culture, being one of the most popular sitcoms of our time (the show ran from 1994-2004, 10 seasons) having catch phrases like, “How you doin?’” become part of our daily slang and with 52.5 million people watching the shows final episode, the serieshad a huge audience and fan base but what were people seeing (or not seeing) when they tuned in?

One thing viewers were not seeing were people of color. The show is predominantly white, with even the extras and background scenes scarcely representing any sort of diversity. Which raises a question, “Why don’t these characters have any minority “friends”’ as Kim Imdieke asks in her essay “A Critical Media Analyses of Friends”. Television is an influential source of media and with millions of viewers seeing no regular characters that are minorities and only handful of interracial relationships throughout a 10 years, “one can get the feeling that white dominance in American society is viewed as okay in today's world.” The shows characters come from mainly middle class homes, (with the exception of Phoebe whose eccentric past includes her being homeless, fatherless and having a mother who committed suicide, but refers to these instances in jocular form) and shows the “average” lifestyle of people in their mid 20s, this average lifestyle being focused on heterosexual intimate relationships, consumerism (except once again the wildcard Phoebe who is the token hippie, spiritual, vegetarian who attempts to go against the grain) our society’s gender dichotomy and the effects that had on their co-ed friendship, that often had a sexual undertone, along with the bond these 6 friends had over their similarities and their differences . While growing up many of these issues did not occur to me. It seemed normal that Ross and Rachel would fall in and out of love constantly, Joey would be the girl crazed playboy, the womyn are skinny and seemingly independent even though they are constantly having trouble with men, and no one ever works, they sit around and drink coffee. Over the ten years we did see Ross’s ex wife marry her lesbian lover, and how the 3 of them raised their son, Chandler’s father who was a drag queen in Vegas and how their father son bond was restored and discussion on the topics of safe sex, pregnancy, and . But these storylines were not constant and although a depiction of these lifestyles and choices is a good start, it could have gone a lot further and pushed past stereotypical depictions. Now after taking this course in masculinities and growing as a feminist, I see the jokes that I used to laugh at in a new light. I am starting to become more critical of ‘why’ I am laughing and what that laughter is reinforcing or affirming. I still laughed at many of the jokes like I did back in 8th grade, but found that some things just didn’t seem so funny anymore.


The One w/ the Free Porn (aka homosociality: Don't change that station!)

In this episode the roommates Chandler and Joey are ecstatic after stumbling across free porn and never change the channel, with the fear that they won’t get it back. The two men watch the sexual scenarios so consistently that Chandler is surprised when, “I was at the bank, and the sexy bank teller didn’t ask me to go do it with her in the vault!” The characters become so used to the porn constantly playing in the background that they become desensitized to it and reinforces that our society, “largely takes pornography as an uncontroversial part of contemporary culture. This is the normalization of mainstreaming pornography” (ML 381). Chandler’s comment shows how these depictions of womyn can lead some to believe that the situations depicted in pornography are what womyn really want sexually and that men have access and a right to a womyn’s sexuality to the extent that they can buy it in various forms (379). Also Chandler and Joey watch the porn together, as a symbol of male bonding, and masculinity. Joey shares the idea that he could not be “the guy who turned off free porn” because what kind of example would that be if he ever was a father, how could he tell his son that? So pornography is reinforced as an instrumental tool for creating manhood, friendship and the “norm” of heterosexuality, and this is the same experience Robert Jensen encountered at a young age, “So I was consciously becoming aware of sexuality, my first recognizable cultural lesson on the subject came in a male bonding ritual around men’s use of an objectified woman, who existed only to provide sexual excitement for us” (379).

The One w/ the Nap Partners (aka if two men take a nap together, better call “no homo”)

After Joey, Chandler and Ross watch the hypermasculine film Die Hard, Ross and Joey happen to fall asleep on the couch together and wake up in uncertainty as to what occurred. After realizing nothing “happened” the two of them decide to never discuss the fact that they took a nap together, act nervous around one another as if they had a one night stand, and then scream in unison, “Die Hard” to assert their manliness. It seemed the reason this storyline is so comical is due to the homoerotic nature between the two friends, and the fact that two straight men being physically close and enjoying it is laughable. “The suggestion of male bisexual behavior remains just that, a suggestion. The guys are just horsing around…Men and women both take great pains to ensure that male-male sex is a line that just isn’t crossed by “real” men, no matter how homoerotic the horseplay gets” (MSO 83). Ross and Joey attempt to have another secret nap session, but wake up to the rest of their friends staring at them in uncertainty and puzzlement. How does Joey respond? By asserting his masculinity, yelling “Dude what the hell are you doin?” to Ross and storming out of the room, depicting him as the mythical “100 percent “red-blooded heterosexual male”’ and distancing himself as much as possible from homosexuality and intimacy with a male friend. This depiction or hegemonic masculinity is common throughout the episode promoting, “limited emotionality and heterosexuality” and the idea that “homophobia is one of the founding principles of masculinity” (ML 54, 37).

The One with the Female Nanny (aka "You'll grow up to be a big girl... like daddy")

This episode was the most surprising to watch again, had the storyline blatantly dealing with masculinity, homophobia, sensitivity and the roles men are “suppose” to play in our society. Ross and Rachel are hiring a nanny, and mistakenly assume the applicant, Sandy, is a girl when in fact it is young man who enjoys childcare and is very much in tune with his emotions. Ross is very uncomfortable with the idea of a male nanny and immediately questions Sandy’s sexuality, “Are you gay?” “You gotta at least be bi?” and proceeds to become almost hypermasculine in response to his feeling uncomfortable. The issue of work and gender roles comes into play, with the comments about a man taking on the role of a caregiver being, “…weird, what kind of job is that for a man? That’s like if a womyn wanted to be…” and there is a dramatic pause waiting for the answer of what a womyn ‘shouldn’t’ be. Jeremy Adam Smith discusses the role of men as caregivers and how it is becoming more acceptable, “Thanks to feminism-which has tried to teach us to ride out the shockwave created by massive economic change-women now have more choices. So do men” (MSO 203). Ross then confronts his disapproval of Sandy’s career path, realizing that it stemmed from his fathers lack of sensitivity towards him as a child, and the acts of ‘tough love’ he was subjected to growing up. “Heterosexual fathers play a particularly central role in accomplishing their son’s masculinity and, in the process, reinforce their own as well. Their expressed motivations for that accomplishment work often involve personal endorsement of hegemonic masculinity” (ML 52). In the end Rachel reinforces the standards of sensitivity within men, by referring to Ross as girl because of his emotional display in front of Sandy.