Men in Makeup

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/boys-in-makeup

For someone with vary limited, mediocre skills and no money to spend, I spend an awful lot of time watching makeup videos on YouTube. It’s been one of my favorite pastimes for several years now. I’ve watched a larger number of beauty influencers over those years. One of my favorite thing to see in recent years is how popular men in makeup have become. Makeup is typically something that is associated with women. It’s marketed towards women and treated as if it is only for women. With these men stepping in and breaking the norms of gender norms, they are also challenging the traditional ideas of what masculinity is.

I posted a link to a short article that addresses some of the comments made toward men that wear makeup. Overall, the theme is that society has socialized us to believe that makeup is a female hobby. Just like how women have a wide variety of interests, so do men. Society is easier on women when they decide to deviate from gender norms. Perhaps that’s because femininity is not as rigid and unforgiving as masculinity is? Men that wear makeup are criticized, told that men shouldn’t wear makeup, and are often asked if they are trying to be women. Society’s equation of makeup to women is just as toxic and damaging as masculinity’s relentless resistance to change and acceptance.

Confronting Catcallers

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/05/14/lw.catcalls/index.html

I posted a link to a CNN article back in the early 2000's in response to the film "War Zone". Like many, I have been catcalled while walking home or walking into work and as a naturally nervous person, I know that I am very uncomfortable and scared when talked to by strange men in general especially those that are bold enough to yell at a stranger on the street. I've seen clips from "War Zone" a couple of times and each time I've felt annoyed or discouraged because when she is so persistent with some of these men it makes me nervous that the next woman they decide to catcall that decides to respond with something that doesn't satisfy them, that they will act out in a violent manner. So I looked around on the interwebs because I was feeling this while watching the clip again for class and I found this article that says that the video is used for training by the Department of Defense since 2002 in the military for showing what harassment and sexism is in general. So that was pretty cool and wanted to share the article if anyone has the same feelings as me.

Soft Masculinity and K-Pop

(https://studybreaks.com/thoughts/korea-flower-boy-breaks-masculinity/)
 

Linked above is a thought piece by author Jamie Lovley of the University of Maine. This article discusses some of the ways K-pop has sensationalized “soft-masculinity.” BTS, for example, is a boy band that consists of 7 men who have soft features, wear light makeup, have well-managed haircuts, and have flawless skin. This, of course, varies greatly from the narrow scope that is traditional masculinity in the US. BTS’ popularity is undeniable, as their shows are constantly selling out and they have been able to hold their place on the Billboard’s Top 100 list consistently. With their, and other K-pop groups, growing popularity, we may be seeing more of the soft-masculinity these guys are bringing to the table.

I personally love the idea that with K-pop’s success comes the representation for other forms of masculinity in the mainstream. This teaches a young audience that there isn’t a cut and dry way to embody masculinity and perhaps will encourage them to stay truer to their own self-image rather than the one that society has molded for them. With a variety of representation in the mainstream comes a wider range of acceptance, and as I have stated before in this blog: acceptance is a powerful tool.

Thank you for reading.

Manly vs. Man

Something I found interesting is the use of the language here of "manly" vs "being a man". Webster says that being manly simply means having qualities associated with a man. So inherently, to be a man is to technically be manly. But our language has evolved to the point where we can recognize a social distinction in calling someone a man and calling someone manly.

Men, What Happened?

 If you've been on social media at all lately,  you'll probably have seen this post questioning men on their fashion choices. For a lot of reasons, this meme bugs me, but most of all because it insinuates that the only way to be a man is to encapsulate that 1940s presence. However a friend posted the second image below last night, poking fun at the original meme that pokes fun at men and modern forms of manhood.

Why I'm Done Trying to Be "Man Enough"

Justin Baldoni Ted Talk
Schmidt Defines Manhood

Justin Baldoni (aka, the beloved Rafael Solano from Jane the Virgin) speaks on his effort to reconcile who he is with who the world tells him a man should be. On a similar vein, Schmidt from New Girl monologues on how being a man is not toxic, caveman masculinity anymore. It's all about exfoliation!

Harry Styles Interviews Timothee Chalamet on Masculinity

Hi everyone,

Both Styles and Chalamet are known for being some of the more "gentle" superstars. The Vice article they have done shows that the boys are looking forward to the world around them because it seems like more and more they are allowed to be masculine or feminine.
Styles claims "there’s so much masculinity in being vulnerable and allowing yourself to be feminine, and I’m very comfortable with that." Chalamet describes that he is excited for the future of masculinity, because this generation likes to do things in a new way. Styles also takes an interesting perspective on social media toxicity, it is worth a look.


https://i-d.vice.com/en_uk/article/evwwma/harry-styles-interviews-timothee-chalamet-photos

Reactions to Stories about Sexual Assault/ Harassment

Over the past couple of months there have been and still are stories coming out about women being sexually harassed by men that they either work for or work with. And one thing that has bothered me is the way people around me seem to want to blame the women for either what happened or why they didn’t come forward and for whatever reason no one wants to put the blame on the men that are often times abusing their power. The hardest part for me was talking to one of my guy friends and he was completely convinced that no matter how many women came forward he believed that the women were the ones lying. When Brett Kavanaugh was in the news he would call him a great man and that he didn’t do anything wrong. And I wanted to talk but we were at work and when he said that most sexual assault victims that come forward are false. That set me off to the point that I almost lost it and he thought the whole situation was funny. And when talking to one of my female friends she said the same thing that he said which made me wonder where this study came from that proved all this and I’m sure they wouldn’t be able to tell me other than they heard someone else say it. The way people will almost go out of their way to defend these men and almost portray them as victims to these “evil” women trying to destroy them. This clearly isn’t true Kavanaugh was voted onto the Supreme Court and Louis C.K. when ever he goes to a stand up show he gets a standing ovation. The ones that are suffering here are the women that are being called liars by people that were not there. My question is why we are so quick to believe a man over a woman in almost every scenario. I’m sure this has something to do with how masculinity is basically blinding people from being able to see this situation from the view of the women. When the man in question is popular or has been portrayed as a “nice guy” no one will listen to these women. When it came to Bill Cosby no matter how many women came forward about what he has done people including women defended him like it was their job. And then when he admitted that he did do what these women said people were still on his side while some then said that he was guilty. Why was it not enough for these people when the many women came forward and said that he was not a good person like he was shown to the masses. Maybe one or two and I could understand why some would say I’m not sure but when the number grows to ten and then twenty then maybe were as a society need reevaluate why we are so determined to defend someone that has been accused of many wrongdoings. For example, if someone has been accused of stealing from friends and family there is a chance that you as a person would not invite them to your house ever and all you have to go on is what a friend said.

Tallahassee Yoga Shooting Emphasizes Danger of 'Incel' Culture

In the shadow of the Pittsburgh Synagogue shooting, another less reported on tragedy just happened in Tallahassee. Shootings have been so frequent that we've become desensitized, so I'm not sure if a lot of people have even heard about the one that happened just a few hours north of us. A 40 year old man named Scott Beierle shot and killed two women at a Hot Yoga studio in Tallahassee while injuring at least four others before killing himself. He was a self proclaimed "incel", which I had written about at the beginning of this course about how dangerous and out of touch with reality many of these men are. Beierle had two charges of sexual assault and countless instances of videos and posts online about how he wants to kill women and people of color. Incels subvert masculinity while simultaneously providing a view of unfiltered masculine entitlement. They are men with less access to the privileges they are blatantly aware more masculine and conventionally attractive men receive. These men are in the dark recesses of the internet going unchecked and only getting more and more empowered by seeing other incels committing acts of terror on women and people of color. I'm not sure what can be done to stop this growing culture of violent misogyny, but it needs to be stopped.

"Are the Straights Ok?"

In my younger days, this meme would have totally had me by its hooks. Now, being older and going through quite quite a journey regarding my gender, I can laugh at this meme and not take it personally. While this meme is certainly laughable, its also sad to think that there are a lot of people out there who take this meme seriously.

When I was a young lesbian I would often say, or have the thought, "If I wanted to date a man I'd date a man, not a girl who looks like a man." Silly, young, lesbian me. Since then, I have become comfortable with my gender, which is a non-binary transmasculine person. If you don't know what this means, in the simplest terms, it means that I don't identify as a man or a woman, and that I am taking steps to become more physically masculine. Some people can't wrap their heads around the fact that I want to be more masculine, but not a man. Its amazing to see how trained we've become to associate masculinity with men, and men with masculinity. Younger me complied to this association. It took awhile for me to accept that I wanted to be more masculine, as I feared that it meant I wanted to be a man. I've finally come to realize that men and masculinity are not mutually inclusive.

Being a butch women at the time, I was simultaneously discounting butch women. Butch women are the most wonderful example of the varying types of masculinity. Butch women push back against essentialist ideologies by simply existing. When a butch women is walking the streets, they are implementing a new, more realistic ideology, that masculinity and women are not mutually exclusive.

Dating seems dangerous...

There have been a countless amount of stories lately in the news about women being murdered. This is nothing new, but lately is has been really bothering me. What inspired me to make this post was the recent murder of Lauren McCluskey who was a 21 year old track star at the University of Utah. If you are not aware of this story, I will post it below so you can know more. Anyways, this story is so haunting because it can happen to anyone. This could have been me. That could have been my face all over the news. That could have been my parents crying. What bothers me the most is that this woman was taking the proper precautions in order to maintain her safety. The story started off innocent enough. Girl meets boy at a bar where he was the bouncer, and they start dating. It's an age appropriate love story, and something we all have done. I'm sure people want to spout off and say why would she hook-up or give her number to a stranger? Don't even start, and you know we've all been there.

The story takes a turn when Lauren found out that this man (Melvin) was in fact much older than he said he was, and that he had a criminal history. After she tried to end things, he got obsessive and even blackmailed her with photos. She ended up paying him $1000 not to release photos he had of her. She contacted police, and campus security was escorting her around campus. Her parents knew she was scared and they were encouraging her to contact authorities. Police seemed to brush it off a little until it was too late. Lauren was on the phone with her mother when she thought she was safe enough to walk to her car. She was on the phone with her mother when Melvin snatched her. The last words her mother heard her say was "no no no." She heard the fear in her daughters voice. Can you even imagine feeling that helpless? Can you imagine the worry until it was confirmed she was dead? Lauren was found shot in her car a short time later.

As a single woman in her late twenties, this fear is constant for me. I like to go out, and I like to have fun. But this could have been me. This still could be me. The fear of letting people in, letting people know where you live, and the fear of who they may really be is exhausting. I don't live and I don't want to live in fear. But, sometimes it's always in the back of my mind. Should I trust this guy? How soon is too soon to let him know where you live or where you work. This girl simply told this man NO. She was no longer interested. He lied to her about so many things and she was done. This man decided she didn't get a choice and ended her life over a few dates. This fear is not the only fear I have though. Another recent news story was where a man killed his wife and children and then WENT ON LIVE TV and acted like he was innocent and was begging them to come home. I will post a link below. Anyone who can act like that is a sick person. So, not only do we have to fear dating, but we have to fear our spouses. These people were married for many years, and had two children together. He killed them too. Maybe there were signs, maybe there weren't. We will never know the truth.

I guess the point is that you never really know who people are. I know so many wonderful people, and many of them are men. But, it's scary out there. I don't want to hold back in life. I want to be able to walk a street alone. I want to be able to leave a casual relationship that no longer serves me and not be scared of being murdered. Men seem to have a very hard time not getting their way. Men and violence is much too prevalent these days, and it needs to end now. I refuse to be cooped up in my house all of the time, and I refuse to live in fear. But, in the back of my mind, I will always have a small amount of doubt.

https://www.cnn.com/2018/10/26/us/utah-student-killing/index.html

https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/21/us/colorado-chris-watts-court/index.html

Violence

Here is a link that talks about how boys and girls are taught differently about violence:
http://theconversation.com/how-boys-and-girls-are-taught-different-things-about-violence-87779

It talks about boys feeling like they cannot ask for help when they are being bullied or even offer it. The pent-up emotions create frustrations and depression. Boys are sometimes unable to identify bullying as a problem and harmful while girls notice bullying and stand against the bully. Girls can identify bullying as inappropriate which helps them stop unacceptable behavior.

"Why I'm not a Feminist"

https://www.elitedaily.com/life/im-not-a-feminist/1144970

TW: article posted briefly mentions rape/sexual assault

We read the article a couple of weeks ago titled "Why I am not a Feminist" by Haji Shearer and I keep thinking back to the article because this is something I try to be introspective about quite often. I believe it is unacceptable to be anything except intersectional in not only a person's feminist practices but if someone does not identify with the word "feminist" then they should try to be as mindful and intersectional in their personal daily practices. No one is perfect and I continue to check myself daily and try to improve. As a white, heterosexual, cis, early twenties female my voice is not the most important voice by any means when it comes to the voices that drive the feminist movement. I think it's important to define what feminism means to me before I go on with this note. To me, feminism is just a term or a badge. What is done under the term "feminist" is what is actually important to me; if it had a different name I would still be one. To me, it is the idea of being intersectional and bringing a movement towards equality for all people on all topics: reproductive justice, eliminating environmental racism, ensuring safety and equal rights to members of the LGBTQ+ community, native people, people of color and other minorities, and a number of other topics. Again, if feminism was a different word it does not matter to me but what actually matters is what it encompasses.

With that in mind, I continue to get frustrated by what seems to be a movement of new Millenials or Gen Y individuals coming out with the bold statement of "I am not a feminist". I provided an example with the link of one in particular provided on the Elite Daily where people can post their opinions on a website and write their own articles. Many of these articles are written by presumably cis, white women who claim something along the line of "I'm not a feminist because feminist are too extreme" or "they're not fair to guys, not all guys are bad". To be quite frank, this is really annoying to explain to people that once again that as a person that identifies as a feminine female that my femininity and motivations in life are not centered around a male counterpart or not hurting a male's feelings. This article, in particular, says "But men can be underpaid. Men can be denied education. Men can be discriminated against. Men can be sexually harassed." and to this I say

...we know

The whole premise behind the feminism I believe in is creating a better life for all with the goal of equality. I know the feminist movement has had bad moments in history where it was not intersectional and there are many people who still don't keep the goal of being as intersectional as possible as one of their main goals when discussing feminism. But after going to rallies and protests and listening to people who do and people who want to move towards a better future of equality they recognize that unjust, bad things happen to all kinds of people. We as feminists don't need to be reminded that "Men can be discriminated against" because we know. That is why we work, that is why we make phone calls to our representatives, that is why we go out to marches, that is why we step back and listen to other, that is why we table in front of our student unions or knock on doors or talk to people on the street about these issues because we are very aware. Whether people personally identify under the label of a feminist or not, most people are at least vaguely aware of what is going on right now and recognize that what many experience they must quietly endure because no one in authority supports them.

If you have made it this far in this post, I'm impressed because all of this is my opinion that I have been thinking about since high school and have really been tossing around since 2016. Maybe I'll do more research and write an essay about this, who knows. But to wrap up this post, I am in no means even close to perfect in my day to day choices. I make mistakes and constantly have to ask myself if the words I am saying are intersectional enough and if my goals are intersectional enough and I grow and try to improve on this every day. And to the bold individuals who like the be the devil's advocate and be controversial and who don't want to identify as a feminist, that is fine. I honestly don't care because that one word in particular is not what matter, what matters is being aware.

Historicizing Masculinities

"When Boys Can't Be Boys"

This article reveals the use of the word "boy," placing it in its historical context, in which the word was used as a derogatory term by whites towards slaves and men of color. The article gives us a history lesson, explaining how the term "boy" was put on trial to decide whether or not it was a slur. The author argues that the term is still used pejoratively today, as seen in news reports about police violence against black men. A jarring fact is stated in the article, that "Whether a black male is treated as a 'boy' or a 'man' has so often depended on which of those categories might invite the most consequence. White men of means, though, are seldom too old to have aged out of the benefit of the doubt."

The historicizing masculinities approach is one of many approaches applied to the study of masculinities. By examining the history of U.S. race relations, one can see how masculinity is multiple and some of the double standards regarding race that we as a nation still hold on to. Additionally, we are able to see the contradiction in black men being seen as "too masculine" or "not masculine enough." As this article makes perfectly clear, looking at the issues surrounding masculinities through a historical lens allows us to more clearly see certain ideologies that have been implemented over time; that the way we think about masculinity today was a process.