Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Real Men Don't Wear Sweaters



Throughout my life, I have noticed a striking yet ubiquitous marker of toxic masculinity: men and boys attempting to prove their immunity to cold weather. My Catholic elementary school required uniforms, and the dress code favored boys in all weather. Boys had the option of pants or shorts, while girls could only wear plaid skirts. On cold winter days (cold for Florida kids, anyway), girls would wear tights but found them to be minimally helpful against 40 degree winds. Although boys had the option to wear sturdy khaki pants, most did not. In fact, many boys did not even wear sweaters on the coldest days. I remember boys in the courtyard making fun of the girls layered in sweaters. “It’s not even that cold! I can barely feel it,” they would say. Their obvious goosebumps and clenched teeth gave them away. These boys kept up their act, however, as the ability to brave the cold was a mark of pride. Peer pressure ensured the practice’s longevity, as boys who broke the social code by wearing a jacket were ridiculed as weak.

While this silly winter ritual should have ended in middle school, I have seen it persist in college-aged and adult men. My freshman year of college, I studied abroad in South Africa. The group of eight students lived together in a house, complete with a fire pit and hot tub outside. The hot tub heater was broken, and the winter air ensured the water temperature was freezing cold. One student insisted on going in, despite our warnings that it would be uncomfortable at best. He put on his swim trunks and hopped into the tiny pool. “Come on guys, it’s not cold at all!” he claimed. He walked in circles around the tub, his shoulders and arms held stiff above the water. He was obviously in pain, but continued to explain that he was having a great time. At the end of the trip, he admitted that the hot tub incident was a mistake, and he had in fact been cold. Shocker.

Even my dad falls prey to this practice, telling my sister and I to wear sweaters on days he refuses to wear one himself. We often associate toxic masculinity with men denying their emotions, but in this case men deny the clear physical signals of their body. Do us all a favor, and put a sweater on.  

(Image found from this article on cold semen:  https://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-the-common-causes-of-cold-semen.htm#didyouknowout . Yet another reason to wear a sweater.)

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