Raising Kids in the 21st Century

Raising Kids in the 21^st Century

Growing up it was me, my parents, and my two sisters, and I was raised that girls don’t climb trees, they dress like girls, and don’t act like boys. My dad was very uncomfortable with his daughters climbing trees because he perceived it to be a boy activity and that was not allowed, but my mother thought it was fine because she loved to climb trees when she was young. My dad made comments when we were growing up that if he had a son, he would be allowed to date at a certain age, but we were not allowed to date. I knew this was wrong and I did not agree with it but that was what dad thought, it was how he grew up. Now that I am grown and have 3 children of my own--a mix of 2 boys and 1 girl (the youngest). My husband and I have tried to make sure that we make rules that are executed evenly among all 3 kids, regardless of gender. There are still struggles that we face with our sons and how they play and interact. For instance, we are not comfortable with the boys wearing nail polish. Our oldest would never dare to do something that could be mistaken for girly while our second son is quite confident in himself and would welcome trying some colors on his nails, even if for only a few minutes. While neither my husband nor myself think that either of them wearing nail polish would influence their sexuality; in a way, we are still very bound to the typical gender norms for items such as nail polish. I want our kids to grow up feeling loved, strong, and not held back by anything, including us. I feel especially strong about our daughter being able to defend herself and protecting herself from boys and life. I want our boys to be strong too, but I also want them to be able to talk about what they are feeling and be ok with expressing themselves and their emotions. We keep a very open dialogue with our children and encourage them to ask us questions about anything, but I still worry that we do not do enough to encourage them to be themselves, whatever that might be.

Raising kids now is different than when I was growing up. Maybe the way my dad thought was wrong, but it wasn’t against the norm of that time, nowadays it is. The way we are raising our children is a mix between what was normal during our childhood and what is acceptable today. Although our parenting style is more like days of old there is a mix of the newer style in it but it seems like some people do not agree with it. We are not progressive enough in our parenting to be accepted by today's standards and why does that matter. If we want our boys to be strong, competitive, play sports, and not wear makeup we are made to feel like we are not open enough in our parenting style and we are damaging our children. Why? Why can’t we raise our children how we want without being judged by our generation and the generations before us. If we parent too much and don’t encourage a more feminine side of our boys we are criticized if we encourage our boys to express themselves and cry if they need to, again we are criticized. Parenting in today’s times is difficult because there is such a variance of parenting styles and it seems like if you don’t belong to one than you are wrong or a bad parent. I want to be able to parent my kids in the best way that my husband and I see fit without being criticized for the way we do it. In a time of freedom and let people be who they want to be and accept everyone the acceptance seems to be limited to only those who think the same way and everyone else. I am proud of my children and pray that the way my husband and I have chosen to raise them will do them will not only today but in the future and will help them to be loving, kind-hearted, strong people.