Hegemonic masculinity in 2017

Many of the men I associate with do not fit into the mold of hegemonic, or traditional,  masculinity. My male friends often prefer to stay indoors and play video games rather than play sports and chase girls. Although playing video games can be perceived as a masculine act, they also are comfortable expressing their feelings and rarely feel the need to act or be "manly." Most importantly, they don't really care about fitting into "traditional" definitions of masculinity. I composed a short Q&A style interview with a close male friend of mine to see how growing up outside of the "norms" of masculinity affected his life, self- image, mental health and relationships, and my analysis of his comments can be found throughout. The subject's name is Ian Miller, and he is a 21-year-old information technology student at UCF. He is self-identified as white, cisgender and straight. This interview can serve as a glimpse into the evolution of masculinity and how it affects young men in today's society. 

1.  How would you describe your masculinity, and how does your identity relate to hegemonic masculinity? “I’m not very stereotypical; I don’t like all the ball sports. My hobbies used to be solving a Rubik’s cube or playing video games. I was pretty good at most sports I tried, but I never took a great interest in them, although I am very competitive in whatever I try.” When asked about what parts of him could be considered a form of hegemonic masculinity, he went straight to his emotions. "I’m not afraid to show my emotions to people I'm close to, but I do hide some things. Sadness is the number one thing hidden. I don’t feel like explaining why I feel the way I feel all the time, sometimes I feel like there’s no use to describe why I’m so sad." His response resonated with the responses of young men in the film, "The Mask You Live In," in which many men said sadness and anger as their most hidden emotions. Miller generally still feels the need to be a "tough guy" when it comes to his emotions, although he doesn't consider himself a "tough guy." This is an example of how hegemonic masculinity affects those that don't even feel affected by it. It's so prevalent that it affects the "unaffected." 

2. How does not fitting into the hegemonic mold of masculinity affect your life? When you were younger, did you experience discomfort not being a "traditionally masculine" person? "I didn't really feel pressure to participate in sports, but there was a time when I feel like my parents wanted me to try sports to get me out of the house, but it was never like ‘You need to be good at football,’ no actual feeling of pressure," he said. “I’ve definitely wanted to be perceived more masculine at times for various reasons.” Miller relates hegemonic masculinity very strongly with a sense of confidence. He listed "muscular, confident, never unsure, has a plan" as some of the main characteristics of hegemonic masculinity. Although Miller considers himself happy with his masculinity, he admits that some traits of hegemonic masculinity would help his social life overall and seem unobtainable in his current masculine status. 

3. How has your comfort within your own masculinity grown from when you were younger until now? Miller said he was most uncomfortable with his masculinity in high school. "Socially, I wasn't where I wanted to be," he said. He frequently relates hegemonic masculinity with a mastery of social skills and popularity. Over the years, he has become more comfortable, he said. He feels slightly more in touch with his masculine identity now that he's in college. "I'm more comfortable talking to people I don't know," he said. Although being "manly" is still not a priority. “I never really cared to be super manly, and I still don’t," Miller said. It seems like more and more men in today's society don't care about being "manly" or fitting into masculine norms, and rightfully so. Miller thinks his progressive high school, supportive parents and the current status of America attributes to this lack of desire to demonstrate hegemonic masculinity. 

 4. How do you think hegemonic masculinity negatively affects society? Are there any positive effects? “I think it negatively effects people when someone is like really not into sports and into their own thing instead that might be considered feminine, and they are pressured into doing sports even though they don’t really like to,” Miller said. “The general notion that you shouldn’t express your feelings or say how you feel about stuff is pretty counterproductive to mental health and maybe relationships and interacting with people. I feel like some aspects of hegemonic masculinity may allow you to get over some rough times easier or persevere through some things when you’re having bad time," he said. Here Miller displays a desire to have the "suck it up" persona when dealing with hard times. Although he does not identify as traditionally masculine and doesn't see it as a particularly good thing, there are times when he wish he could channel hegemonic characteristics in regards to masculinity. He separates the characteristics found in each type of masculinity, and struggles to intertwine them into his own specific type of masculinity. Although he was raised on his own definition of masculinity, he still acknowledges that there are clear-cut types of masculinity and their characteristics don't really overlap. 

 5. What is some advice you would give a young man, who is still figuring out masculinity, about how to combat pressure to conform to hegemonic masculinity? “Somehow don’t care what other people think, but it’s much easier said than done. People who bring you down for not being masculine or stereotypical, you shouldn’t take that seriously. Just ignore it.” Although just ignoring it might not work for everyone, it's important to realize conforming is not necessary and can be hurtful if you're hiding who you really are.