The provided link will take you to a study that focuses
on how masculinity influences the LGBT community- namely, how it effects gay
men.
“Societal conceptions of masculinity affect the
self-image and relationships of many gay men…” (Sanchez, Greenberg, Liu, and
Vilian, Reported Effects of Masculine
Ideals on Gay Men)
In the gay community, there are many men who embody
traditional masculine ideals. Often times paired with the drive to become a
vision of machoism is the hatred of effeminate gay men. This is likely due to
the ridiculous notion that men who inspire to be masculine cannot, or rather
should not, be feminine.
Here is a personal story from my second-hand
experience with the matter:
I was participating in one of those semi-forced/semi-enjoyable
work functions where one of your coworkers holds you socially hostage for a few
hours and you go, even if only to build a sense of comradery with your
coworkers. I went with good friend and coworker, accurately dubbed ‘broworker’.
My broworker is a proud, effeminate gay man.
He and I had been talking for weeks in anticipation of
my doing his makeup for the first time in his life. He said that was excited at
the idea of 'being able to express himself through another creative outlet'.
Before the work-party, he and I met up and I did his makeup for the first time.
When I was finished, he absolutely loved it. He screamed, he hugged me, and he
took pictures. He even mentioned being excited to stunt on our other coworkers
with his new look.
When we got to the party, however, his entire mood
shifted. He visibly wilted, like a flower. He exhibited a continuous lack of
confidence until it digressed to such a point that he was dabbing the makeup
off of his face while crying in the bathroom. I asked him
privately what originally made him start to spiral and his response was deeply
sad. “I didn’t want him to judge me, and I knew he already was the moment he
saw the makeup on my face.”
The ‘him’ that he was talking about was another
coworker, who we saw at the work-party. This coworker was your traditional
masculine gay man, like the study linked above discusses. I didn’t understand
why my broworker was worried about the opinion of this other person, so I asked
why he thought he was being judged. His response was along the lines of “some
gay men don’t like how other gay men represent themselves- they think it’s
harmful to the portrayed image of gay men”.
That… doesn’t even make sense. There is no right way or
wrong way to be gay, and there is no room for that kind of judgement in a
community that tirelessly teaches us to accept and celebrate the differences of
all people. This is not to say that it is wrong to be a gay man who embodies
traditional masculine ideals- it’s not. Do your thing, but also encourage
others to do theirs as well. Encouragement is a powerful tool.
The study was interesting to read because it focused
on how masculinity effects gay men, and provides valuable scientific insight on
the topic. I do recommend it, if you have the time.
Thank you for reading.
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