Underwear Incident

Buzzfeed Try Guys 2014

“Opps, sorry! ...Um, are you wearing mom’s underwear?” I said as I stood in the doorway to my parents bedroom seeing my father undressed and in my mother’s underwear. My father is 5’6”, hair man, about 250lbs, stout and a but of a belly, wearing cotton pink women’s underwear briefs. Think of a little bit taller Danny DeVito and the same rude attitude. I do not remember the age seeing my father in my mother’s underwear but it was sometime around middle school or high school. This was not the only time he would wear her underwear or not keep the door shut while doing it. He would blame it on the laundry was not done or he did not know where is underwear was at the time. It was strange and I have never really discussed it with anyone. Of course women’s underwear is comfortable then buy your own there are a lot of options.

After high school years, my father became largely addicted to pornography, prostitution, and later my parents divorced. He had a girlfriend that said he did have relations with male prostitutes as well. We do not know the truth about all of my father’s sexual choices or indiscretions and we do not need to. He is an adult the contradiction is he is very homophobic, misogynistic, and christian. He was raised by his older sister as his father hardly talked after being in the war and my grandmother was an alcoholic when he was young. I often reflect about his own life and his self and identity were molded into who he is today. Learning about how the latino boys starting in 6th grade transitions then they are translating their own gender identities and expectations (Pascoe, 235) is when my father possible started his. These learned expectations from childhood grow and effect who the child becomes and adult. These ideals of what being an man is and then realizing your prefer something else and not truly understand that or feeling like others may not accept you is hard in self discovery without the well equipped tools to evolve. 

“In school, boys of distinct ages, races, and social classes negotiate masculine identities and social standing by demonstrating their physical dexterity, strength, and athleticism (Pascoe, 236).” My father measures people by the amount of money they make, their jobs, and if they can play basketball. My brother often tried to play basketball and learn about sports to relate to my father but it did not work or last. None of my siblings have great relationship with him. A lot of that relationship issue stems from his own struggle with who he is and his own roles as a man. The behaviors that my father portrays are learned behavoious of what he expects a man to behave as “boys…[do] not experience puberty on their own but rather within their homoscila group”(Pascoe, 241). This puberty and growth period compounds on that behaviours and expectations are greatly learned for their peer groups which would reflect in how he treats and expect others to act. 

Word Count: 516

Reference:

Pascoe, C. J., and Tristan Bridges. Exploring Masculinities: Identity, Inequality, Continuity and Change. Oxford University Press, 2016.