A Thought on The Vulnerability of Young Men

To preface, I work in a restaurant and while they can be hit or miss with being a totally male dominated workplace, they’re still hard for women to work in regardless. I feel it’s important to establish that I can only look at masculinity from my own more feminine perspective, but I feel as though in this situation, it’s an important bit of context. At my workplace, we have a nineteen-year-old dishwasher/server assistant I’ll name Andy. I was recently alerted by another male coworker that Andy felt so pressured by the other male staff in the kitchen to lose his virginity that he hired an escort. I was presented this information about a coworker I hardly know by another male coworker who seemed to think this was funny. I was taken aback and uncomfortable by this information. Why did this man this this was funny? He clearly pitied Andy. He often participated in joking with other male staff about Andy’s inability to get a girlfriend. It’s so heartbreaking that there are situations like this that occur regularly, that young men feel so pressured by others in their social circle to force things like having sex with someone for the first time. Toxic masculinity in this environment seeps into every interaction some of these men have, some who work together almost 40 hours a week together. It’s hard to watch Andy turn from a quiet, calm kid into a loud and aggressive man. It’s hard to hear him speak openly about this escort he hired, using derogatory language about her. Toxic masculinity seems to prey on the vulnerability of young men and it’s hard to find ways to help curb it, especially as a woman in an environment that is already so unwelcoming.