I came across an article recently called
15 Ways to Help Kids Develop Empathy by Ana (Jovanovic) Sokolovic. Here is the
link to article. https://parentingpod.com/teaching-kids-empathy/
I enjoyed reading the article and it points out great ways to help
children learn empathy. This is mostly by modeling empathy is some fashion in
each of the 15 suggestions. What I noticed about the article is that it
discusses empathy for both sexes, but only showed pictures of women doing the
modeling.
It seems to be a great general guide for tips and tools on teaching and
modeling empathy. The problem that I have is just that. It’s general. Boys and girls
are going to learn empathy differently. I feel one of the reasons for this is
that it is often women modeling empathy through childhood. From teachers to
care givers, the gender bias is very clear. Little boys will spend more time watching
women model empathy for them. What they don’t see as much of is men modeling
this important behavior.
I feel this would lead to boys developing a gender bias toward empathy.
It is for girls to do. Action hero’s and Superhero’s are not full of empathy.
They protect the weak, they don’t empathize with them. They simply solve their
problems and get the praise. Once these little boys grow up, their empathy
senses are dulled. Once they are in relationships and needing the empathy
skills, it is hard to come by. They want to solve their lover’s problem and
make it go away. They don’t seem to have the strong structure that women do for
empathizing with their partner. Boy grow up to be the superhero. So much of
human communication is based around empathy. It is no wonder men have a harder
time.
I did some research and came across this article, Genes Can’t Explain
Why Men are Less Empathetic Than Women, by Tereza Pultarova.
The article goes on to talk about that fact that the genes are the
same. Science just can’t seem to explain why men seem less empathetic. While there
are biological factors to empathy, such as the hormones oxytocin and testosterone,
there are many other social factors at play. This must be what shapes those
brain networks. Boys do have positive role models, but are those role models
concentrating in the right areas? I do not think many dads would be reading the
article on increasing empathy in young children. Of course, there will be
fathers who are. The article was carefully written to be inclusive of whoever
was reading the article and be true regardless of which gender you were parenting.
The subtle influences though seem to tell a bigger story. Not one father or
male role model was shown modeling empathy or discussing it.
The first picture is two mothers showing their boys being kind to
another. Each picture that shows modeling is a female, showing or teaching
empathy to a child. One picture discusses celebrating empathy as a family. It
shows a man handing a woman a bouquet of flowers. This is a subtle traditional view
for men on what empathy must mean.
It is this underlying cultural dynamic that needs shifting. Boys of
future generations need strong male role models for emotional
intelligence, such as empathy. Boys and girls develop differently. We need to
shift our perspective to understanding how these differences affect the future
for boys. No matter what gender identity we chose, we should have the older mirror
of ourselves teaching us these life lessons.
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