Many Ways to Be a Girl, but One Way to Be a Boy: The New Gender Rules

This article by Claire Cain Miller talks about gender expression and how it’s socially acceptable for girls to act or dress like a boy– maybe even encouraged. But it is not okay if you’re a boy who acts or dresses like a girl. Girls are often encouraged to obtain “man traits” like being independent and strong. But when a boy has some “woman traits” like being emotional or vulnerable, he’s told to “man up” and not act “gay”. 

I’ve always found this interesting because society finds traits that are associated with manliness to be desired and traits associated with womanliness to be weak. But men being put down and ostracized for showing their emotions or “acting like a girl” is what causes men to resist seeking both mental and physical help when they need it. This contributes to men’s suicide rates being 2-18 times higher than women, varying by age. 

Toxic Masculinity and Mass Shootings

http://therepresentationproject.org/masculinity-and-mass-shootings/

I read an article about masculinity and its relation to mass shootings. This article paid homage to the recent shootings at the Walmart in El Paso, the Gilroy Garlic Festival, and the night club in Dayton, Ohio. It is such a tragedy that these horrific acts of violence are continuously occurring in the United States. 

The article acknowledged how there are certain traits that many mass shooters share, such as: anger, suicidal urges, and behavioral disorders. However, a trait that is often not spoken about is toxic masculinity. This article sought to unpack the impact toxic masculinity has in these violent crimes. 

About all mass shootings are perpetuated by men, however, men are not more prone than women to commit mass shootings. This points to something going on with masculinity as a correlating factor. Virtually all mass shooters have a history of violence towards women. 

The article mentions something known as “aggrieved entitlement” which is defined as: “an existential state of fear about having the ‘rightful place’ as a male questioned…challenged…deconstructed.” Most men, specifically those with privilege (straight, white, able-bodied, etc.), have been socialized to feel that they have a right to something solely because of their male status. This feeling of aggrieved entitlement has been encouraged by political leaders, including our current President. Problematic rhetoric has been used to fuel hate crimes against many marginalized groups, including people of color and those in the LGBTQ community. Examples of hate crimes can be seen in practically every single mass shooting that has occurred. 

This article mentioned two of the films we have watched in this course: The Mask You Live In and Tough Guise: Media, Violence, and the Crisis in Masculinity. The Mask You Live In brings to light the harm toxic masculinity brings to young boys and men when it comes to violence. They are often taught to conceal their feelings (the mask) and encouraged to act and react in violent ways. We must put in the work needed to change the culture that leads to feelings of aggrieved entitlement, as mentioned before.

The article references the film Tough Guise for the link it draws between toxic masculinity and mass shootings. A quote mentioned worth repeating is by Dr. Katz when he says, “In the many hours devoted to analyzing the recent school shootings, once again we see that as a society we seem constitutionally unable, or unwilling, to acknowledge a simple but disturbing fact: these shootings are an extreme manifestation of one of contemporary American society’s biggest problems—the ongoing crisis of men’s violence against women.” We must combat this issue and do everything in our power to product change. An attempt at a first step could start at gun control reform, at the very least.

Seen With My Own Eyes: Grocery Store Edition

Something happened right in front of me today in my local King Soopers that I couldn’t
ignore and couldn’t wait to share with you all. We have talked and continue to talk about
how young men are the products of their fathers; meaning they will absorb anything
their fathers say like a sponge in a bubble bath. 

So I’m standing in the ice cream aisle, per usual, behind a man with his five or six year
old son in the basket of his cart. The man in perusing the ice cream bars, while on the phone,
when his son attempts to gather his father’s attention. This little boy proceeds to kick
and scream not because he is upset but because
his father is paying attention to something that isn’t him. 
The man pauses his conversation, sternly stands up, and gets eye level with his son.
He looks his son straight in the face and says “You are a big boy, stop acting like a little girl!” 
I was in shock, not because I witnessed this father reprimand his son, but because he
chose to attack his gender instead of attacking his character, behavior, or even his age.
This was such a blatant display of the toxic attributes of gender that I couldn't look away.

Disappointingly, the son was quite from that point on. It took the insult of being called a girl to
get him to stop throwing his tantrum, and the father and son continued on their shopping trip.

I don't even know your name

So I work in the service industry as a server (not like that really pertains to anything in this blog post) but I feel as if it may be worth mentioning. Anyways, I really just do my job, make my money, and leave. Which is what I try to do. Though, there are times when things get difficult and I’m stuck in the middle of speaking up or just staying quiet.

There have been times where my moral and ethical compass is telling me to speak up, and say something. But my bank account needs money, and I can’t risk losing my job. There have been times when I have caught men not just talking to me, but other women I work with and saying the most outrageous things.

The other night for example, I was serving a group of about five men. One of the men suddenly asked me if the woman I was working with was single. This man clearly had a ring on his finger, so I wasn’t certain as to why he was asking me what her relationship status was. I exclaimed no she wasn’t single, and resumed with what I was doing.

What baffles me, is obviously (1) the ring on his left finger, but (2) why does it even matter if she’s in a relationship? Why did this man think it was okay to ask what her relationship status was. Why is it any of his business of what her status is? She doesn’t know you, so why is that deemed “okay” to even ask. Some may say my response may come off prude-ish, or slightly harsh. But that’s why some of these comments, and certain interactions with others are so normalized because of how often it happens.

Question is, why is it okay for you to ask me such personal questions, when I don’t even know your name?

Man Caves, She Sheds, and the Division of Domestic Spaces

I am sick to death of seeing this State Farm commercial. Not only because I tend to get tired of commercials after a while (and this one has been playing for quite a while), but because it relates to a deeply contentious matter in my family.

When my mother first moved in with my stepfather, she wasn't allowed to hang anything on the walls. No family pictures, no art, no decorations, nothing. This continued for over ten years, even after they got married. My mother eventually started filling our home with more furniture and decorations, decorating for holidays, changing things out every so often to keep things fresh. Nothing superfluous, just a few things to look nice, things she got because they made her happy. She also turned the unused space in the back into a workstation for her personal projects like wrapping the Christmas presents (which were entirely her responsibility to buy and wrap) and making party decorations for her friends and family.

My stepfather loathed it all.

He grumbled about it every time she changed something or brought in something new; "You're filling up my house with junk," "I don't have any space left that's my own," "I hate all of this crap." It caused many an argument, usually boiling down to "you've domesticated my property, and now I feel excluded because it's too feminine for me." Keep in mind: they're married and share this space equally, and nothing my mother did was overtly feminine; it's not like she put pink lace everywhere. His solution was to make himself a man cave. He turned the office into his private haven that my mother wasn't allowed to touch, and it was true to his minimalist, utilitarian vision he enforced back in the beginning. And he stays in there most of the time now.

I've found the recent phenomena of the "man cave" and, even more recently, the "she shed" to be fascinating. It's worth note that "man caves" became common well before the feminine equivalent. Man caves are a direct backlash of the feminization of domestic life, which is ironic, given that the cult of domesticity forced women to be the sole keepers of domestic life while the labor force was masculinized. Once women began to enter the labor force and work became less masculinized, men began seeking that masculine space wherever they could get it. Of course, domesticity was too feminine for them, so they made jokes about the things their wives do to make their homes pleasant space to live in and carved themselves private spaces in their homes where they could display their fishing poles and golf clubs and other manly bric-a-brac.

So where do "she-sheds" come in? She-sheds are usually sheds in the backyard where women can do the extra girly stuff, the stuff that apparently isn't even allowed inside their own home. And so we return to the commercial. The worn-out husband who clearly despises his wife's she-shed. A shed. In their backyard. The very idea of his wife's feminine getaway weighs heavy on his burdened shoulders. It's even implied that he's responsible for its destruction. There seems to be a turf war being fought in America over our domestic spaces, spaces that women are apparently supposed to maintain and keep in order but not actually have any influence over. Men like my stepfather value the property they own as a possession, a trophy, a power they wield. I'm interested to see how this war continues to play out, especially among a generation so estranged from homeownership.

Adam Driver Thinks He's "Part of the Problem"

In a recent interview in Men’s Health, Adam Driver known best for his roles in HBO’s series Girls and as Kylo Ren in the Star Wars franchise, admits that he isn’t “exactly sure what [toxic masculinity] means.” His character in Girls could usually be found shirtless, spewing profanity at women, and being emotionally manipulative towards them. His character was also known to use physical violence around women, breaking furniture and belongings within fights. His character (also named Adam) was known to display situational couple violence, by using physical force without context of control. His character in Star Wars shows him, again, being a poor communicator and relying heavily on physical force to display dominance. Driver explains that his conservative and religious upbringing sheltered him from a lot of pop culture and films, so he only recently began to explore medias. When asked about the toxic masculinity within Fight Club, Driver admitted that he wasn’t familiar with that term and joked that it could be because “[he’s] part of the problem.” This was unnerving to read, because here is someone who is known for taking roles that exhibit men using violence/physical force to exert their masculinity and it seems as though Driver doesn’t even understand the potential effects of this. Driver’s characters exhibit heterosexual, violent masculinity and this falls in line with current hegemonic views of masculinity. Rather than attempting to understand the archetypes he’s playing or attempt to “queer” the ideals of masculinity, he performs under slight ignorance. 

https://www.menshealth.com/entertainment/a29536370/adam-driver-toxic-masculinity/

Sex is who's responsibility? Male contraceptives and sex as "women's work"

Ground breaking research is being done to create a male contraceptive pill and it's push into the market could be ground breaking as the article, "Are we ready for men to take the pill?," claims. However, the research for it's development has been put to an outstanding halt as a lack of interest leads to lack of funding that has all but killed it's production. 

Although female contraceptives have been in discovery and on the market for quite some time, there are arguments within the field of science against the development of a male contraceptive pill. The main argument is that the development of male contraceptives is more complicated than women's. Because the whole science behind a pill for men rests upon the idea of halting sperm production, researchers say that the levels of hormones needed to accomplish this would be too risky and lead to side effects. And despite side effects being present in other contraceptive methods, like those targeted for women, the reality is that pharmaceutical companies, regulators, and men themselves aren't accepting of potential side effects. Because common side effects such as weight gain, mood swings, and lowered sex drives are considered emasculating, the development of the pill has been socially rejected. Similarly, development of "clean pills" that lack these side effects and enable a semen-free orgasm have been rejected as ejaculation is seen as important to male sexuality. Other arguments ask women if they trust men with this type of contraceptive measure when it comes to casual sex.

Inside this question of whether men are ready to take the pill, I have found that a bigger discussion exist with the more intimidating question, who's responsibility is sex? Although the consequences of unprotected sex seem to be primary for a women who's main fear is pregnancy, the article argues that sex and contraceptive use really falls upon women and can be labeled as "women's work". And although we are coming upon an age where more men are sharing in home care and child responsibilities, there needs to be an extension of gender role remodeling when it comes to contraceptives. As a future physician and hopeful OB/GYN, I am saddened to know that research in this topic is diminishing because of a lack of interest. For me, this appears to be just another method in the practice of safe sex and hope to see it develop by the time I start treating patients. Sex is everyone's responsibility that chooses to have it and I believe that the development of a male contraceptive pill may set the stage for a social discussion that, many times, gets sweep under the rug. 

Are we ready for men to take the pill? Article: https://www.bbc.com/news/health-49879667

"Meat-Lovers"

The linked video is a new commercial for Burger King's latest menu addition, a plant-based burger called the Impossible Whopper. The commercial shows a series of statements that so-called "meat-lovers" make after trying the Impossible Whopper. Each of the interviewees appears to be a middle-aged male construction worker. This commercial is quite obviously targeting a masculine male audience who identifies as a tough working-class man who probably hasn't given much thought to veganism. Why is this the ad's target audience? According to a statistic from TopRNtoBSN.com, 79% of American vegans are women (https://www.huffpost.com/entry/vegan-woman-lifestyle_n_5063565). This brings into question why veganism is more attractive to women than men. After seeing this ad, finding this statistic, and thinking about this issue, I've come up with a few ideas. One possible explanation could be that many of us think of meat as our main source of protein. Many athletic individuals, especially those who work out quite frequently, consume increased amounts of protein. Athleticism and working out both tend to be considered more masculine. Another explanation I thought about was regarding the masculinities/femininities assigned to food items. For example, a salad is usually seen as a feminine menu item whereas the steak and lobster is a "man's meal". And not just a "man's" meal, but a "wealthy man's" meal. This brings into play the assigned status of "masculine" given to wealth and economic success. It is interesting that the interviewees' job shown in the advertisement is a construction worker: the embodiment of a hard working-class man. Why not, for example, a group of businessmen trying the burger? I feel as though Burger King knows who their target audience is and how to gage them. If this meat-loving hard-working working-class manly man can enjoy a good ol' plant-based burger, why can't you?

Nick Offerman Speaks Out on Being Labeled "A Man's Man"

Many of us know and love the sitcom Parks and Recreation. This show features quirky characters and strong women. The actor Nick Offerman, or Ron Swanson in the show, is oftentimes referred to as a “man’s man.” His character from the show tends to be the stereotypical man who can hunt and provide. He has moments of “weakness” and emotion, which he desperately tries to hide in order to maintain his mask of masculinity.

Offerman typically refutes these sorts of claims of being a “man’s man” in a very straightforward way. In response to this, he has said, “I went to theatre school. I took two semesters of ballet. I’m the sissy in my family. I cry with pretty great regularity.” Offerman retorts by saying there are aspects of his life which do not align with society’s view of masculinity, and yet because of a character on a television show, his bushy beard, and enjoyment of nature he has been dubbed a beacon of masculinity.

The resounding theme from interviews with Offerman in relation to his masculinity is that he simply leads with kindness; in an interview with GQ Australia Offerman says, “As to as to the notion of chivalry, I just think I would just change the term to politeness. Chivalry brings to mind the sort of old-fashioned paradigm that genderises acts of kindness. And it's sort of tainted, because there's a sense of 'well, women need the help of men' in their fancy dresses, and you know, men should throw their jacket on the mud puddle. Politeness is wonderful, but I just think we should drop the gender identity.” This is an interesting interview to read as it comes from a “masculine” point of view of GQ; the questions they ask and word choice indicate they are trying to be the “everyday” man who is just confused and upset about how to be a man in our evolving society.

These articles are similar to some of the commentary which can be found in the text Men Speak Out compiled by Shira Tarrant. The essays featured in that text demonstrate men who are figuring out how to define masculinity and “be a man.” This is similar to the points Offerman is speaking to in his responses to interviewers.

Buzzfeed Article:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanschocket2/nick-offerman-had-the-best-response-to-being-called-a-mans

GQ Australia Article:

https://www.gq.com.au/entertainment/film-tv/nick-offermans-2019-playbook-to-masculinity/news-story/b4c4c5b2b28826eebcf2b49dff2c7b21

October 26th is Intersex Awareness Day!

I am writing this on Intersex Awareness Day, October 26th, 2019. Intersex people are individuals born with some combination of both masculinized and feminized genitalia, chromosomes, gonads, etc. Historically, Western doctors have used intersex bodies as experiments on how to change someone's sex and gender to fit into the proscribed two gender system. This has meant that many intersex individuals underwent several surgeries as babies and very young children in order to "correct" their "abnormal" bodies. The surgeries done on little intersex babies are often unnecessary and can severely harm the person's genitalia and ability to orgasm. What's worse, doctors usually tell parents to keep the facts of these individuals bodies a secret from them, and discovery of their body and the surgeries done on them when these people get older can lead to severe mental health issues. Just imagine what it would be like finding out your parents had lied to you, tried to "fix" your body, and in the process removed your ability to enjoy sex. Thus, these surgeries and the secrecy surrounding their status as intersex has left many intersex individuals unhappy with their gender, their sexual functioning, and their body. Click here to read more about intersex people, their political activism, and how to be a good ally.

Queer theorists often point to the intersex body as evidence for the idea that sex is almost as much of a social construction as gender. While there are certainly differences in the genitalia of men and women, the presence of individuals that have both male and female sex markers indicate that sex is not a strict binary. We can never escape our conceptions of gender, so every assumption or "discovery" we make about sex is already filtered through our ingrained beliefs about gender. Thus, intersex people can help us break down our assumptions about the supposedly "natural" progression of sex > gender (> sexuality).

Barack Obama speaks out on being a "man"

I found this video to be quite relative on last week's module and the "Hip-Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes" video we watched. In this video, Obama is discussing what it means to be a man as an African American and how those types of men are expected to live up to the expectations that are set for them by hip-hop artists and rappers. In today's music, the same type of lyrics are being carelessly thrown around about disrespecting women, feminizing men, and having the most money in the world. Obama counters these lyrics by saying they are actually making the singers and rappers come off as insecure. If they were actually rich or strong, they would not need to wear big chains around their neck or brag about knocking people out, and if they were not insecure about their sexuality then they would not have several women dancing around them. I think this is an interesting perspective to take on today's artists and their music because it goes against what the initial thought would be when someone sees a music video with an artist throwing money at the camera or has half-naked women dancing circles around a guy sitting on a throne. Obama also mentions it is important that we display examples of successful men that do not follow the social norms of masculinity in society because it is not very often these types of men are manifested.

source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbkgYVYoXjw

Is it weird to say, "I love you dad"?

Is it weird to say ,"I love you dad"?

This sign above shows us that even in the day and age we are in now kids still filed weird about telling their dad, "I love you". Some feel it’s weird because the “L” word is not something they say in their family, some keep from saying because they are pretty sure their dad won’t reciprocate and it will get awkward, still to others it just not something that one guy says to another even if they are related. Why have we not been able to move past emotions as not being masculine? How does letting someone know that you love, make you less of a man than when you say I hate you to someone? Both express an emotion. I have found that even when I talk to my dad I never know if when we hang up the phone if he is going to say “ I love you” or not and I certainly do not want to say it and have him just hang up. I love my dad and know that he loves me but neither of parents really say I love you very much. You would think with my dad having 3 girls “I love you” would come out more but it never did and still doesn’t.

What is interesting, is that I do notice that with my kids (2 boys and a girl) he says I love you more than he ever did than with my sisters and I. While my dad has not seemed to move forward much in his expression of love with his daughters, he has managed to grow to be more emotional with his grandkids. I see my dad working harder to change behaviors that he had with us growing up and moving and branching out to be a different type of masculine for the kids. Trust me he is still very much into the “don’t touch my eyebrows” when I go to the barber and “don’t you dare wear that”, type of guy but there are more “I love you’s” and more it’s ok to get upset with the grandkids. I love that I have seen a growth in my dad but wonder if our relationship will be able to evolve like it has with my kids?

The link below is to a great article from Metro UK about Father's Day and lack of I Love You's and the cliches of the past that are still present today.

https://metro.co.uk/2018/06/15/fathers-day-tell-us-toxic-masculinity-7633889/

Are You MAN Enough to be at My Gym?

Advertisements are a major culprit of perpetuating toxic masculinity; this has been an important component to various discussions in this course. A great example of a company which targets masculinity in their advertisements is AXE body spray. I’ve utilized this company and the following equation to explain the basic premise of most of their advertisements: average man plus AXE body spray equals a strong and sexy lady’s man. This type of advertising can be seen in many products and services targeted towards men.

I’m sure we’ve all encountered varying levels of targeted, sponsored ads while using social media. For example, you might search Google for a new pair of shoes and then become inundated with ads for shoes when you open social media apps. While getting ready to eat dinner today, my partner was scrolling through his Facebook feed. He is a male who is 26 years old; this makes him a part of the target audience for many of the ads which perpetuate a toxic view of masculinity. I see him roll his eyes and pass me his phone so I can see this ad for a gym, which I’ve included a photo of below. The ad depicts a fairly average looking man trying to seem tough and punching towards the camera in boxing gloves. The text reads, “Calling All Winter Park MEN!” The imagery of this ad tries to convey how men can start to look and act tough by going to the gym; it depicts an average-looking man who is not threatening, but still “man enough” to go to this gym. This plays into men acting tough and seeming hard. The text over the photo also implies that only “real men” could withstand this workout. It isn’t something for “sissies” or “chicks” because it’s too difficult and tough.

Examining the text in the caption, it reads: “We’re giving 20 first-timers a 2 WEEK PASS…” The use of the phrase “first-timers” could tap into multiple places of insecurity for men. This phrase signifies a general sense of inexperience, which could signify a lack of ability to do “man’s work.” This also plays into “first-timers” in terms of someone who is a virgin. Society has made it so that any man who is a virgin at a certain age is a “dorky loser who just can’t get laid.” In pop culture, these types of virgin male characters tend to be portrayed as feminine, nerdy, and are the brunt of many jokes at the expense of their masculinity.

Advertisements are an interesting study in terms of masculinity. It is important to be aware of the messaging and tactics used by many companies.

We All Need Somebody To Lean On, Even Men

The popular NPR podcast, Hidden Brain, tackled a problem that really intrigued me the other day and was really relevant to our current conversation. The isolation of the modern man as pertaining to life outside of relationships and the workplace, but real and genuine friendship. 

These are few and far between for most men now, either they don’t feel like they
can open up to their friends out of fear of scrutiny or they have that emotional blockade up
on their own. Either way, there is an observable difference between the friendships that
men make and retain into adulthood as compared to the same friendships for women.   

I would assume that the root of this phenomenon stems from the difference in comfort
levels of men expressing their emotions and that of women. Women are very open
about their feelings, as pop culture will never allow us to forget. But isn’t think the healthy
way to live your life? Not with your heart on your sleep but with your true feeling on the surface.
Men who retain these feels and lock them away in their vaulted hearts are harming themselves
and their relationships by not speaking up about their mental and emotional fluxuations.
Further, women retain friendships through constant communication and sharing.
If men neglect to share their emotions, they may also neglect friendships. 

The common friendship between two men can stereotypically be deduced down
to a few common factors: sports, women, or an activity like fishing or hunting.
To reiterate, this is a very stereotypical example, but little about these situations
would prompt a man to open himself up to his friends. Additionally, what about the men
who can’t conform to these stereotypical factors of male friendships?
They continue to search, or conform, for companionship. So lastly, no. It did not surprise
me that men are struggling to create and maintain productive bonds when their culture
has not evolved in a way that allots for it.  

https://www.npr.org/2019/10/11/769538697/guys-we-have-a-problem-how-american-masculinity-creates-lonely-men

What We've Done

What we have done as a society is a terrible thing. Growing up as a girl you don't notice it, but once you start having interactions boys as you grow up you realize that something you have is missing in them. That something is the ability to communicate those feelings that will surely break us down. As you grow up is easy to ignore it but once you're an adult and you want those bonds to solidify, this all makes a difference. From a young age, men are told to not show emotion. Admitting that they are sad, or lonely is a sign of weakness. What have we done? As a society, what have we done? We have thrown them into the deep sea without teaching them to swim and without giving them a voice to ask for help.

If you identify as man, please know that you are not weak for admitting these types of emotions. You are just human. 

Moonlight

The movie, Moonlight, follows Chiron, who is a young black man growing up in Miami. Chiron struggles with his sexuality and what it means to be a gay black man in America. It’s an amazing story that deconstructs stereotypes of black masculinity. The article Moonlight, Masculinity, and Black Male Sexualities explains that “black men experience additional strain due to racialized stereotypes that depict them as inherently dangerous and hypersexual” and this often causes many queer black men to resist coming out to avoid harassment and violence.

If you haven’t already, I’d highly recommend watching Moonlight and gaining a new perspective of black masculinity.

Boys on Barstools

A source of information and humor, the well known social media mogul called “Barstool Sports” has been celebrated and berated since their conception in the early 2000s. What started as a blog lept with the evolution of social media, reposting videos online and adding two-cents in online conversation. While politics and sociopolitical issues are rarely discussed, sexist ideologies and blatant displays of toxic masculinity certainly are. President and founder, Dave Portnoy, has refuted the company’s lack of political stance many times- on Fox News, might I add. But the context of their website tell us what we need to know, this company was founded by men, for men. A few clicks on their website show the obvious root of the company, sports. But as most things do now, this company evolved with the times and used their platform to post about mens sex based interests and issues. For example, I will reference a segment on their website called “Twerk Tuesdays”, which is planely a bunch of women submit videos of themselves shaking their barebutts to get on this website. 

While the website still aims to stick to their roots, they have perfectly encompassed the masculine
agenda: sports, boobs, food, funny videos of people falling, boobs, and more sports. Which leads me to
the question: Why am I so fascinated by this? I follow this website not because I agree
with the things they post and not because I’m the biggest sports fan, but because I find their
communication so well refined while being so effortlessly offensive and bringing men and the
occasional woman together. Watch one of their YouTube videos, or read an article on their website
and you know what you’re getting. 

The below article from NBC talks about the traditional masculinity that barstool exhibits, but
arguably I would term their message as “evolved masculinity”. Not socially combative while being
internally combative, not political while being social, and not a spec of femininity to be seen. Although
many people have voiced a problem with this company we have to admit that what they do,
they do well. 

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/barstool-sports-persistence-traditional-masculinity-sports-culture-n1057061

Big Mouth and Teenage Boys

I recently read an article talking about an episode from Big Mouth’s third season on Netflix. The article was about how this animated comedy show is breaking down the influences that lead young men to adopt sexist ideologies. 

The plot of the episode was how boys’ distractions with girls’ bodies leads to a change in girls dress code. The principal said this was in order to “protect our strong, empowered women from the white-hot male gaze.” The girls, feeling that this was unfair, organized a SlutWalk. Ultimately, some of the male characters misinterpret this walk as catered for their desires rather than for girls rights, so to speak. When a girl corrects them by saying the walk was for girls and their reclamation of the derogatory term “slut,” the boys are left confused and angry. 

The article talks about how Big Mouth offers young male viewers the chance to challenge their instinctive responses to things that seem to contradict. One male Jewish character goes to a “Men 4 Equality” meeting which ends up being hosted by a white-surpremacist group. After seeing the attendees views on Jewish people, he realizes that he has irrational feelings of anger towards the girls and their SlutWalk. 

Big Mouth makes a point that young boys’ regressive attitudes are informed by the men around them. There is so much more that should be done to counteract the toxic messages that young boys and teenagers receive.

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2019/10/big-mouth-season-3/599113/

The Joker Movie: Stigmatizing Mental Illness in Men

I read a blog post on The Representation Project’s website last week about the recent Joker film and
its depiction of violence and misrepresentation of people dealing with mental illness. They argued that
the main character Arthur Fleck is perceived as being “on the edge” and his lack of mental stability
ultimately leads to his progressing acts of violence. I think rather than exploring the ways in which men
are discouraged from expressing emotions and being vulnerable, the movie reiterates the notion that
men must become violent when they are not in control. There was some outrage in the media from people
who survived the Aurora, Colorado movie theater shooting during a showing of another Batman
related film, and how they were worried that others would see the film and attempt to copycat the Joker’s
actions. Rather than attempting to shed a light on mental illness and vulnerability from men, Joker
exemplifies the ways in which society shows men how to be violent and destructive towards society.

http://therepresentationproject.org/masculinitys-role-in-the-joker/

An Observation on Target's Beauty Displays

Today I spent an hour or so browsing around Target. My usual Target location has recently undergone a complete makeover and there are many new store displays and overlays. One of these displays stood out to me today while I was looking for deodorant. I went down an aisle to look for my usual brand but realized I had gone down the "men's" aisle. The dark colors and masculine packaging was a stark contrast to the products I usually see while in the "women's" aisle. I decided to take a closer look. The body wash bottles featured words like "Captain", "Swagger", and "Sport". The bottles were dark reds, blacks, and greys. Even though it was clear these products were being advertised for men based on their packaging and names, each bottle clearly announced itself with the word "MEN". Finally making my way into the "women's" aisle, the vibe completely changed. Bottles featured words like "Beauty" and "Pure". The packaging was pretty, floral, light, and colorful. Even the types of products were different. The "women's" section featured more pampering-like products such as bath fizzies, scrubs, and bubble bath soap. Not surprisingly, the product line by a brand called "Everyone" was featured in the "women's" section but not the "men's". Another significant difference I noticed was the price differences. Women will surely be willing to pay the price for beauty, but men may need the extra push of a bargain. The men's products clearly portrayed a sense of masculinity with their dark colors, word choices, and self-distinction as a man's product. The women's products portrayed the opposite: pure feminine delicacy. What makes soap for men or for women? What makes a scent or color feminine or masculine? Why are there different sections for men and women? Isn't soap just soap?

Trudeau, Blackface, and Racialized Masculinity

The article linked below offers a really interesting take on Trudeau's blackface scandal, arguing that he re-enacted the historical stereotype that black men are lecherous. For those who don't know, it recently came out that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has a history of wearing black and brown face. Specifically, some pictures surfaced of him at a party during his years as a teacher dressed - and made up - as Aladdin. This article traces how blackface was used by various racist organizations and institutions, including the KKK, to perpetuate the stereotype that black men are hypersexual, immoral, and driven by instinct to attack white women. By wearing blackface, the article argues, Trudeau is perpetuating this stereotype. Another way of thinking about it is that Trudeau donned blackface as a way to temporarily cloak himself in the image of a sexual, dangerous black man, but was able to literally wash that image away and return to his privileged status as a white man. In this interpretation, blackness is thought of as little more than a sexy costume. Trudeau was able to think of being black in this way because of his privileged race and the fact that he never had and never will face racial discrimination himself. He has, of course, since apologized for his actions, but this scandal provides an opportunity to reexamine the problematic issues of blackface in our time.

https://nowtoronto.com/news/canada-election-2019-blackface-trudeau-george-elliott-clarke-/

Gillette short film: can it change the future of masculine behavior?

I stumbled across this YouTube video yesterday and knew I had to make a post about it. It is a short film by Gillette about the best men can be. It begins by showing how typical men act and make excuses for their behavior (i.e. "boys will be boys"). Then, the angles change, saying that times are changing and shows men taking responsibility and standing up for what they know is right in terms of respecting women and teaching young boys how to behave. The video ends by saying that the only way we can change and better men for good is by showing young boys how to be better by men bettering themselves. I found this short film to be moving and gave me faith in the male population that they can be better and young boys do have the potential to change the definition of masculine behavior. More advertisements like this for men could possibly have a strong impact on men's behavior because our society is constantly being influenced by media and advertising. If other advertisements for men can influence them so easily, why should this be any different?

Saeed Jones for the "Everyman"

I recently read an article about a writer named Saeed Jones, a queer person of color who focuses on his struggle with masculinity as a queer man and how he has experienced masculinity through his own experience and from others. In this interview, he discusses how he isn’t entirely sure what “acting like a man” is supposed to look like, and how his “queer masculinity” differs from hegemonic masculinity where men are stereotyped as violent and show a lack of empathy. He touches on the topic of internalized homophobia, and how his desire to acclimate to traditional masculine norms, he encounters men who don’t love themselves and demonstrate various forms of masculinity. He talks about how the women in his life were the biggest influence on his masculinity, he feels that he is more “effeminate” than most heterosexual men and this is because of his close relationship between his mother and his grandmother. With Jones being a black, queer man, society attempts to put certain pressures and stereotypes on his person and there is this inherent threat that is constant to black men in this country not only in terms of physical violence towards them, but continuous objectification of their bodies. He explains that his memoir We Fight for Our Lives, the use of “we” and “our” is pointed and encompasses the idea of the "everyman," specifically black men trying to grapple with the threat to their livelihood while exploring what it means to be a man in America.

https://www.thenation.com/article/saeed-jones-how-we-fight-for-our-lives-interview/

Manscaping

Manscaping (formerly known as grooming) is not something was discussed back in the 1950’s but there has been a big push over the last several years that has moved manscaping from higher economic status to something where any guy could and should manscape for the better of not just vanity but also for his health. I found a website Manscaped that is devoted to selling facial and body “lawn mowers” for manscaping. Even within manscaping there still seems to be the need for advertisers of products to assure every man that when they use their product not only are they still a man but they are more manly by using said product, hence the term “lawn mower” instead of razor.

I still find it interesting that even though manscaping is something that more widely accepted it is still something that has to be “masculinized” because before “real men” did clean up their eyebrow or sides so why do all these “pretty boys” need to do it. Why does it have to be something that gets looked down at as not masculine can’t a man be clean and put together while still maintaining his masculinity?

Old Spice Commercials

Old Spice commercials are known to always show this extreme dominant view of masculinity to sell their products. Saying things like how men should stop using "lady scented" body wash and switched to their "manly" one, they could be "more of a man". They always depict a super muscular shirtless man with their tagline "smell like a man, man". I feel like grooming products for men always try to sell by showing how "manly" you could be if you had it. The fact that male lines of beauty products exist says a lot in the first place. Other body washes don't specifically target women by saying it'll make you more of a women. 

A lot of men think that caring about your physical appearance or about fashion makes you seem feminine, so they want to buy products that are targeted at men to compensate for that.