Growing up I thought the answer was the latter part of the question. I am 21 of "age", can drink, totally responsible for my own actions, and am independent. Boy was I wrong. During my 20's I thought I knew everything. Bought a house, got married, started a career. Only to be divorced, living back at home with my parents, and struggling to find my way.
I realized at that moment that I sucked at this "adult" thing and I really had no clue what it was about.
Fast forward to several years later, I got re-married, bought a new home, and had children. Now its no longer about me. I have to be strategic with my actions, I have a family I am responsible for.
The situations and life challenges have shaped my being as an adult and it is only the beginning. I have still much growing too do. This is when and how it all dawned on me. When was you Ah-Ha moment?
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