When Did Touch Between Male Friends Become Taboo? Are we too afraid of going outside our own comfort zone to risk having the kind of friendships we long to have?

Men touching other men has become highly sensitive issue amongst men. This is due to the fact that society has placed an association between physical touch and it being a highly sexualized activity. Back then in the 18^th and early 19^th centuries, physical touch between men was the norm. Many men would get together and share activities such as cuddling and intimate behaviors without there being an acknowledgment of a homosexual act. Physical and emotional ties between male friends were considered beneficial to the growth and development of friendship. Intimacy between males has become a cause for concern in today’s society because it has drawn a boundary in which ways they can express affectionate behaviors towards one another. The article was written by a gay man that states he feels that “society gives me a free pass to be more emotional and physically demonstrative”. Although his statement is contradicting because he also mentions that he has to be very careful about how he expresses affection towards his close straight male friends. Once the label of “Homosexual” was created, society had started to place everything else into a category of its own, just as sexuality is categorized today. I agree with the author that the expression of emotion and intimacy in today’s society between two men should be more relaxed. Expression of emotion should be a healthy and innocent activity that men should think of as consensual and non-sexual in nature.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/when-did-touch-between-male-friends-become-taboo_us_59034d03e4b084f59b49f845

Everything is different on TV from what I am trying to teach my children.. What do I do?

Its Friday night and my children want to watch one of their favorite programs on their favorite child network. I decide to sit down and watch with them and notice the behavior of the actors are quite different from what I am trying to teach my children. There is a male villain who is very feminine taking control of the minds of the two main actors and making them do some very questionable things. The two character are acting very homoerotic and I am getting very comfortable watching this but my children seem to love it. These two super hero's are typically very masculine and take down villains on each episode but this particular one they are losing the battle to a villain who is very feminine, wearing a ton of make up and gesturing in ways that in my opinion should not be on a children's television network. My kids ask me Daddy why is that man acting that way.. Its too early to be having this conversation with my kids. I know its as easy as to not let them watch this program, and I am seriously considering. But other than that, WHAT DO I DO??

Do you have Mental Issues?

Do men have to be strong? Do they have to be a risk taker? Or how about a playboy or a lady’s man? Does that make a man a man? Is that something that society has placed on them? Depending on how you answer the questions will determine whether you believe male needs to be masculine in order to fit into society. In the Article "'As boys, we are told to be brave': men on masculinity and mental health” by Sarah Marsh. I believe that men are pressured to fulfill the stereotype of how a man should be, whether it is physically, emotionally or mentally. Apparently, it seems that the more men try to conform to what society demands the more psychological problems they develop. The thing is when that type of mentality is developed the masculine individual has a hard time getting the help that they need. The stereotypical man is usually a playboy. I believe that is just a lost boy. Men have these problems from all over the world and usually they don’t seek out help or family members tell them to be quiet and keep it to themselves. It just seems like masculinity can result into mental sickness like depression or even PTSD and only becomes a more serious problem because no one is seeking assistance. I think changing yourself to confirm with what society demands is scary and can cause permanent mental damage to an individual. They want to be in the spot light, they desire to be a risk taker and they are usually emotionally controlling as well. I think attempting to not place a stereotype based on society on males would overall be beneficial.

'As boys, we are told to be brave': men on masculinity and mental health

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/nov/24/as-boys-we-are-told-to-be-brave-men-on-masculinity-and-mental-health

Boys and Gun Culture

After doing work for module 6 I started to do research into American culture and our love for violence. I came upon an interesting article that talks about boys and gun culture. Freson argues that guns are so prevalent within our culture that even if you try to shield your children from them- they will still find themselves drawn to guns. “I had a ‘no toy guns’ rule, fearing it would encourage violence. I was so confident that this was something taught it the home, from watching inappropriate movies and television, playing violent video games, and from watching the adults in the home use guns. So imagine how shocked and alarmed I was when my boys, who had been shielded from all of that, began building guns out of Legos on Tinker Toys, even cardboard boxes” (Freson 1). Boys are taught from a young age that guns are used to “show off” to their friends, they are “fun,” and in American society you should feel like you “need” one. The author goes into great detail about what parents should be doing with their guns, like making sure they teach their children the rules surrounding fire arms and that parents should keep them locked up securely at all times. “Whether they access a gun to show off, to goof around, or to harm someone else or even himself, limiting access is the best way to avoid harm or death, both intentional or unintentional” (1).

https://www.advantage4parents.com/article/boys-and-guns-in-a-culture-of-violence/

Drag King Culture

After module five I started to wonder about drag king culture and how it was challenging the gender binary. The author of the article “How king culture is challenging gender expectations” explains how performing gender can produce different perspectives that the viewer might not have thought of originally. The author and the people she interviews say that: “Some people are so adamant that they know the truth, but the truth doesn't exist, it's merely a perspective. People can choose to see gender differently. But these performances are not bound to sexuality . . . don't make the assumption that we are queer because some of us may be genderqueer. Drag Kings are much more interesting and complex than that “ (Franklin 1). It is interesting to see that by looking into these different perspectives we are able to question gender divides that limit us as a people. By performing different genders the performers call into question issues of identity and create a space for conversation. "Any performance will give you ideas. You're doing this for yourself. You don't have to please everyone in the room. If you feel good on stage, that's all that matters . . .Feeling good as a member of the audience is a given too. Sometimes it will hit you in a laugh-out-loud way and other times in a sensual-prodding-of-selfhood-kind-of-way. Moving through ideas about who we are is vital for evolution. Queer or not, identities are not fixed and this is something all of us are free to explore " (1).

https://i-d.vice.com/en_us/article/mbvv5a/how-king-culture-is-challenging-gender-expectations

 

Racialized Masculinities Prezi

After module 4 I was especially interested in finding other opinions on racialized masculinities which led me to an interested prezi that brought up some other interesting points that continued the conversation of racialized masculinities. One of the parts was where the author talks about “morphologies” of masculinity. It is where specific uses of racial stereotypes have become considered normal but when looked at under a lense they become distorted. For example the author uses the “Southern Gentleman.” When you think of a southern gentleman you think of a white man- leaving no room for a black gentleman, even though we know that that isn’t a correct line of thought. Like we talked about in class, there are some “morphologies” that leave room for racial diversity, such as sports, but the associations we make are rooted in stereotypes. The racialized masculinity is framed in our media/art and becomes “an extension of reality.” By studying these different themes and associations we can ask ourselves why these concepts exist in the first place. Those types of conversations led us to positive change and I believe that is what the author was getting at.

https://prezi.com/20n5k9xposkg/masculinity-and-racialized-subjectivities/

Status symbols

 


Module 3: After talking about how the male body is objectified in Western society I starting doing research on male status symbols and what it takes to become a status symbol. Surprisingly many articles popped up claiming to explain just how a man can become a status symbol. http://projectbebest.com/status-symbols-for-men/ is a link to an article that claims a man should think about how apes treat each other in the wild. By channeling that animal behavior one can become “superior” to the other people around them. The author claims that there a 7 status symbols one must have in order to be successful: Custom made clothing, a quality watch, a high performance vehicle, muscular physique, a good group of “friends” you can call on for favors, and “alpha male” body language. I will add that the author includes a lot of disclaimers, basically saying that you shouldn’t spend money on high priced items if you really can’t afford them and that you really just need to imagine yourself with those things to be successful. Reading between the lines I believe he was saying that you need those things to be a successful “man,” which we have learned in this class that that is not the case.

Masculinity and Clothing

Module 2 :  Masculinity "those aspects of men's behavior that fluctuate over time" (Pascoe & Bridges 40). Masculinity and Clothing

After reading through the module I started to think about men's fashion and how different it looked a hundred years ago. Like masculinity, clothing styles changing with the times and through men's clothing you can see how our societal views of manliness have changed. The further back in time you go, the frillier and "girlier" the clothes tend to look. Frilly clothing was seen as a status symbol, the more frills you had the more money and status you had. If a man dressed like that today he might receive questioning glances or it might be assumed that he was attending a costume party. After looking at some of the clothing it helps to realize that masculinity is something that is constantly changing, it continues to change just as the fashion does.

 

Breaking the “Masculine” Mold

     In relation for this week’s module on “Queering Masculinities (and Masculinity & Sexuality)” we discussed how masculinity can be shaped in many forms from women identifying as masculine identities to men struggling with upkeeping these “social identity appearances.”

I found a video published on Buzzfeed about young women who aspire to be their favorite male superheroes and end up getting their own customized superhero photo shoot where they live their dreams of becoming powerful heroes. It demonstrates that women identifying as these male roles creates a sense of power and dominance that they feel isn't as pronounced or well-known with superhero females.

Check it out here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGCBRpNuP9g

A woman's thoughts on men's struggles

As I continue to theorize masculinities I have noticed more and more similarities in struggles that both men and women, both feminist and not, go through. Here are some of the most prominent struggles I have learned about and seen through my own experiences that men might deal with throughout their lifetime. I realize that every individual will undergo a different lived experience, and there is no way to summarize all the stereotypes and struggles any one person will go through. My intent is to draw comparisons and similarities between both men and women's experiences in modern American society as I have both seen and learned about as an opportunity for education and discussion.

1. Body image: Men and women alike are constantly bombarded with images of unrealistic beauty expectations. Women are expected to be thin, tall and beautiful; men are expected to be tall and muscular, to name just a few characteristics. In reality, these expectations are narrow, hurtful and at times, unobtainable. Most importantly, advertisements' main goal is to make consumers want to look like the models in them, which usually includes purchasing the products advertised. However, what if someone wants to look uniquely their own? These popular images and advertisements perpetuate the idea that there is one singular form of beauty. They reject unconventional beauty and make both men and women who do not fit their standards uncomfortable in their own skin.
2. The breadwinner: Drawing from my own mentality as a female feminist and young adult, I think some feminist women might feel a strong desire or need to become successful and support themselves financially. For me, this drive for success creates fear and anxiety for failure to not complete that goal. If I don't "make it" in the world, I'll consider myself a failure. This mentality is similar to the traditional notion that men should be the breadwinner in the family. Although this view might be outdated and practiced less often, I think it still sits in the back of men's minds. Men's expectation to be the breadwinner is created by society, and some women's expectation is a self-imposed goal. Regardless, the pressure is on for both.
3. Sexuality: This issue is tied into the topic of body image and is perpetuated by society at large such as through the porn and advertisement industries. Not only are men expected to be good-looking "hunks," but they are also expected to have "adequate" penises and a preexisting knowledge of how to perform well in the bedroom. The "virgin" is commonly mocked and stress is put on young men who have not yet had a sexual encounter. Shame and humiliation are common responses to men who don't have a porn-like penis, sex drive or know-how. Similarly, women are expected to be objects and be submissive in the bedroom. Both expectations are unrealistic and harmful.
4. The man box: We all know what the man box is by now --- it's the strict confines society has placed on how men "should" act. It includes being tough, emotionless, strong and able-bodied. I argue that feminist women also create their own box, one that requires them to be strong, independent and potentially resist help from others. Again, this is taken from my own personal experience. As an independent woman, I find shame in asking others for help or admitting defeat. These are similar feelings those in the man box experience. Being strong and independent are amazing qualities for a human being to have, but at times even our best qualities can hinder us.

Overall, I wanted to draw these comparisons to show how similar men and women really are, and that there are many shared struggles we experience. Hopefully this attitude can translate into a more inclusive and accepting world.

Toxic Masculinity Linked with Mental Health Problems

Recently a study was published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology examining conformity to masculine norms and mental health outcomes in 78 research samples involving nearly 20,000 men. The participants were predominantly white but also included African-American and Asian-American males. The researchers evaluated participants using an inventory that measured 11 norms psychologists believe reflect traditional societal expectations of masculinity. Then they looked for links to positive and negative mental health outcomes and help-seeking behaviors. Overall conformity to masculine norms was linked with negative mental health outcomes like stress, depression, anxiety, substance abuse issues and poor body image. Three particular norms, however, showed a particularly strong association: self-reliance, power over women, and “playboy” behavior ― the latter two being the most strongly associated with sexist attitudes and behaviors.

You can read the full article here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sexism-masculinity-mental-health_us_58348925e4b01ba68ac31155

You can read the journal article here: http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/cou-cou0000176.pdf

How will you change?

 By now I am sure that most of you have heard all about the Harvey Weinstein sexual harassment allegations. If not, here is a brief back story: Harvey Weinstein is (was?) a major player in the movie industry and allegedly over the last few decades he has sexually harassed, abused and possibly raped women. Here’s a link to get more information on this story, should you want it: http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/harvey-weinstein-what-you-need-to-know-w508162

This situation has opened the door to more women and men to talk about their experiences with sexual harassment and assault. People are sharing their stories on multiple platforms, like Twitter by using #MeToo to show that, they too have been a victim. For, one man the last few weeks have been eye opening about how common it is for women to be on the receiving end of abuse. He decided that it time for men to reflect on what personal changes they could make that will help to bring an end to this epidemic. I am curious how for this campaign will go and what real impact it will make on our culture’s views on male dominance. Here is a link to the article:  

 
https://www.buzzfeed.com/bradesposito/how-i-will-change?utm_term=.yvMoX61W6#.kta2D9PX9