Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Everyone loves the holidays because it is a time when families can get together and spend quality time. My family hardly ever gets to spend this time together because my uncles live in Kansas and rarely get to visit. However this past week they did for the holidays so that was great. Yet it has been awhile since I have seen them and it was an interesting Thanksgiving to say the least. As we sat together around the table (it is my mom, my sister, myself, 3 uncles and an aunt) I saw the way our family contributes to the idea of the man or men being in charge of the household while the women are expected to do the "women's work" in order to satisfy them. Not only did we eat steak for thanksgiving because my uncles didn't want turkey or ham, but my mom and aunt did all the cooking and I was chastised for not cooking with them. Number one, I'm not a very good cook, but number two, why do my uncles get to sit around and be lazy without helping but its wrong if I sit with them. After we ate dinner my mom and aunt began to clear the table and one of my uncles looked at me and asked why I didn't jump up to help, so I asked why don't you get up and help. My mom quickly stepped in and told me to help and I also got a nasty look from my uncle. Now don't get me wrong, I love my family very much, but until now I never really took the time to step back and see how we as a family contribute to keeping men in charge and making women subordinate...I also look at the demographic background and wonder if my uncles living in such a small town contributes to the idea that this is way things should be, but that makes it worse and even more sad that mindsets of people in different areas of the world (or the US in this case) can make it even that more difficult to understand why women and men in the household should be equal in their contributions to the family life. My uncles are planning another trip in march and I do have intentions of coming up with some ways to put them on edge with our "family time" and I will definitely do my best to force them to step out of the box (and that refers to the act-like-a-man box) to hopefully help them see what they are doing. It should make for a good trip and I have to say I am looking forward to it... :)

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