The War Between the Sexes

Since I watched Venus Boys a few weeks ago, the words of one of the interviewees has been fermenting in my mind: "There really is a war between the sexes." Ze (not sure how the interviewee identifies gender-wise) was talking about the priveleges ze was noticing since being able to pass as a man, I think including being privy to anti-woman comments that ze wouldn't have heard in earlier days when being viewed as a woman.

I have started taking to heart the anti-woman comments I've heard lately...I guess I have always thought of "misogyny" as a mistrust of women, a condescion to women, or simple but often humor-ridden discrimination. I don't think I wanted to believe that I was up against an actual "hatred" of women.

One example of these comments was a joke that a guy friend of mine made. We were at dinner with friends and a woman who was there, whom we had both just met, made a comment that pissed him off--a joke about his paisanos being bigheaded and irritated. He got onto her about it, and later he told me..."You know what I was thinking...I didn't say it, but I was thinking 'You know what's wrong with her? She must not be getting f*&%^d right," and explained, "Her boyfriend must not be doing her right...now if she were with a [insert his nationality]...maybe she wouldn't be so bitchy"
Wow.
I was pretty sure he didn't see anything wrong with getting even by making a joke about her sexuality. Not her nationality, or her sense of humor, but her sexuality...which had absolutely nothing to do with any of our conversation at dinner that night. I was also pretty sure he was just softening the joke for me by adding on humor about the sexual prowess of his countrymen. What his joke showed me was that slights to a woman based on her sexuality were fair game, and that it was natural that he should go there because after all, women are mostly sex objects who might happen to have other interests and roles in life like student, mother, etc.

Maybe I'm leaping to assumptions there, but the joke reeked of hatred for women. Because it implied that since she wasn't "getting -- right," the only thing that would straighten her out was a good --. The joke was repulsive because it carried the threat of rape to put her back in her place, to show her she better not make a joke that offended him like that again.

What is most frustrating about the incident, is that I'm not sure I could even begin to have this conversation with my friend, or whether it would be worth it. If he has been socialized to view women this way, over years and years and years, how many conversations will I have to have to make a dent on his brain? And will he even be able to let down his guard long enough to actually look introspectively on his views of women and how they might be harmful...especially if all the men he comes into contact with hold the same views.

It has opened my eyes to the threat and real hatred that actually lies behind many rape jokes and other male-entitlement behaviors...It is disturbing to think that so many men can function in a world where they commodify women as sex objects and view them with a truly destructive level of disrespect. It was also a wakeup call to me to the fact that women, myself included, internalize this commodification and don't do much to fight the way we are treated on the individual level...sometimes it seems like way too much effort to speak up when I am so clearly in enemy territory.

So what is my level of responsibility to other women, and men, who may very well fall victim to my woman-hating friends some day? After all, acquaintance rape and other forms of physical and emotional abuse are pretty common occurences, and our friends and loved ones are perpetrators. Should we as feminists be holding each to a higher standard...quit letting each other slide on the "it's not your fault--it's internalized oppression" card. I let myself slide with this card a lot and let it explain my not-so-heroic behavior while on dates, while walking down the street, or going about any random daily business where I interact with men...while out at the club, and in the bedroom. It's a hard question for me when I feel like speaking up and fighting back comes with high social costs, and I don't have a lot of contact with fellow feminists who don't make me feel judged by simply dismissing my asshole friends or partners by saying "He's an asshole...why do you have anything to do with him?"

So I guess that's why Theories of Masculinity is awesome, since it provides literature and a space to seriously examine the hows and whys of misogeny...also a shout out and thank you to Men Against Rape for taking on this sort of work!

How to Loose a Guy in 10 Days

My favorite types of movies are romantic comedies. As I was thinking about romantic comedies that relate to this class the movie, “How to Lose a guy in 10 days,” popped into my head; the film starring Kate Hudson and Mathew McConaughey. Since I will be discussing a different film related to masculinity for the film review, I figured that I would post a short review about this movie and its relation to masculinity.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 days is about a woman who works for a magazine called Composure. She is sick and tired about writing the same stuff, so she assigned herself the “How to” beat. Her story is How to Lose a guy in 10 days. In the movie, she dates a guy doing all of the “wrong” things in order to complete her “How to” article. McConaughey is a successful businessman who thinks he can make any woman fall in love with him in just 10 days; however, the two individuals are not aware of each other’s motives.

This film relates to our “Theories of Masculinity” class in several ways. Masculinity has many different meanings and you can define masculinity in several ways. When I think of a masculine guy I think of someone who is tough, smart, confident, and a guy who is able to get what he wants. I realize that my opinions of masculinity are very narrow-minded, but by taking this class I’ve learned that masculinity is much more that just a macho guy. I also think this movie portrays guys in a very narrow-minded mindset. This movie portrays to viewers that guys are in fact able to get what they want, even when it comes to women. I think that Hudson gives McConaughey a real run for his money by doing exactly the opposite of what a guy wants. This movie proves that women have the same amount of power in a relationship as men.

Early Comic Books and their Subjection of Women

Anybody who gets to know me knows one thing about me: I'm a geek. I read comics, watch anime, and play video games. Since I have identified as a feminist though I have enjoyed my geek media with a feminist eye. I came across this article this morning through a link that one of my friends on Facebook posted. While comic books are a new form of media that I've been getting myself into, there are some things about them I know to steer away from. There is no denying that during the 70s and 80s comic books depicted women as the weaker gender who always needs to be saved (while wearing some garment that was unnecessarily revealing). Comics during this time frame also depicted men as the heroes needing way too many muscles and the other men in the comics as being chauvinistic and woman-crazy. The comic book featured in this article speaks loudly to these horrible "credentials". While I know nothing about the comic book series Lois Lane I can get an idea what it might be about. Lois Lane gets herself into compromising situations (sometimes with other busty, curvy women dressed in as little fabric as possible) and needs to be saved by her boyfriend, Superman. Now I love my comics and my anime. I just try to do my best and ignore the pieces that give a bad name to these franchises.

Jackson Katz on Linda McMahon

So, Linda McMahon co-managed WWE with her husband Vince McMahon, and she is now currently running for CT state Senate. Jackson Katz wrote about the problematic nature of her involvement with WWE for the Huffington Post titled "
Linda McMahon Smacks Down Women" where he states:

Make no mistake about it: until Linda McMahon decided to run as a Republican for the United States Senate, she was one-half of one of the most culturally destructive, and blatantly misogynistic, business partnerships in the history of popular entertainment. Under Linda and her husband Vince McMahon's leadership, the WWE has featured some of the most brutal, violent and hateful depictions of women in all of media culture over the past twenty years.

I'm sure we'll hear more from Katz in reference to wrestling and how it celebrates and glamorizes violence when we watch Wrestling for Manhood, but I'm mostly interested in comparing his criticisms of McMahon to Mick Foley's heavily involvement in anti-violence work, and if Katz has written about such? I did a quick Google search earlier and came up empty, so I'll keep an eye out.

Yale Frat Pledges Chant “No Means Yes, Yes Means Anal”

The Society Pages blog has recently been publishing quite a few stories on the overlap between frat culture, rape culture, the clearly unhealthy conditioning of masculinities, and the cultural insensitivity that has been evident in the practices of some of the institutions that are indubitably conditioning our future leaders. Reading these articles fills me with concern regarding how these behaviors could ever, ever be deemed acceptable, even just as an effort to fit into a very exclusive "boys' club," and I do hope these incidents are more isolated than I believe they are.

Black Masculinity

Throughout all the different ideas that have been discussed on Masculinity, I have made the mistake of lumping all men into the same "masculine category". After watching the movie on Black Masculinity in class last week I see that I should not have done this. One of the main concepts I am understanding is that men are automatically able to be seen as leaders in society, but it never occurred to me that this is not always so for the African American man (and that definitely means its harder for the African woman also). This movie had many responses towards black masculinity and they were things such as, "Black masculinity isn't a privilege, it is earned", and "the black man has to work twice as hard to receive the same status as a white man". I realize now I should never assume that all groups of people (men) should be lumped into a single category. There are obviously numerous types of categories for different groups, even men.

Interestingly enough in another class I am taking, (Sex, Gender, and Philosophy)we are reading Black Sexual Politics. Today actually we discussed the oppression of African Americans and the stereotypes they must endure today that can date all the way back to slavery. One stereotype of black men is "the Buck". Which is another way (dating back to slavery) of saying that the African American man is "big, strong, and stupid". It is a way that made it justified to treat black men as subordinates to the white man. Now I have begun to wonder, and I honestly think I already know the answer, but does society still hold this viewpoint towards the black man and really the black community as a whole?? I think YES! It is no wonder the African American men (and women to, not to leave them out just because they are women) must work so hard to overcome these ideologies in order to achieve the same "masculine status" as a white man. And it is also not surprising that some of theses men turn to a life of violence and crime, because all they are really trying to do is achieve a status for themselves, and unfortunately our society is not treating these men (at least not consistently) as equals. It gives me even more of a reason to question what real masculinity is... From my viewpoint no man or woman should ever have to work twice as hard to achieve the same things as another man or woman. I hope the rest of society will soon discover that as well.

“You must be gay.” (On the bullying of pro-feminist men.)

The other day I was involved in a conversation about what men can do to stop rape. One of the participants was a young university student who is articulate, energetic, funny, and charismatic. He is also gay, and he doesn’t care who knows it. And that’s a real strength when it comes to doing men’s anti-violence work. Because when we men do this work, other people – mostly men – often either make the assumption that we are gay, or they try to level “gay” at us as an accusation.

I speak out against rape. I speak out against all forms of violence against women. And I often encounter “You must be gay.” It is almost never said in a positive way.

When I was in university these attacks were quite visible. I lived in a student residence. One morning I awoke to find the words BILL PATRICK SUCKS COCK! spray-painted on the wall outside my room. (This was in retaliation for my pro-feminist activism on campus.) Two close male friends of mine came over to support me. These friends, who happened to be gay themselves, humorously declared: “Well, if theyreally wanted it to be an insult, they needed to write: ‘Bill Patrick sucks cock... badly!’”

I am certainly not the first pro-feminist man to be called “gay” as a form of attack, and I unfortunately won’t be the last. But I would like to take a moment to address the phenomenon of why those of us who speak out against men’s violence are so often called “gay” – and to talk a little bit about how we can respond to this supposed slur.

The two most damning insults that we level at men in North American society are that they are either woman-like or that they are gay. (Actually, this is only true for white men. There are plenty of other vicious names that we sometimes call men who don’t happen to be white.) But the most hurtful way to attack a white guy is to go after his masculinity. We call him a woman, a girl, effeminate. And – with the profound ignorance that always accompanies bigotry – we confuse the issue of sexual orientation with the issue of gender identity, and, in a further attempt to bring this man’s masculinity into question, we call him “gay.”

(The presumption gay men are never masculine is of course absurd, and it quickly vaporizes when one learns even the most basic truths about our gay communities.)

But why do we try to attack the masculinity of a man who speaks out against violence against women? Because he is calling into question some of the basic tenets of what comprises traditional masculinity – the very notion of what it means to be a man. He is taking on the antiquated ideas that “boys will be boys” regardless of the consequences, that men are innately violent, that men are naturally sexually aggressive, and that men should be able to dominate women. To speak about respect, about mutuality, about collaboration, and about consent is to speak about a new way of being for men that honours the humanity of women. To many unenlightened men, this is a huge threat, and they will lash out however they can. And the most common way that they do so is to call the speaker “gay.” This can be a very effective way of silencing some men who would like to speak out against men’s violence – but who feel hindered from doing so for fear of being thought of as gay.

So just how can we respond to “You must be gay!” and ensure that it does not silence the voices of those men and boys who would like to speak up for gender justice? Here are a few possibilities:

Don’t deny it. Unless you think that to do so would put you in immediate physical danger, do not deny the suggestion that you are gay. When you respond to the allegation that you are gay with a denial, you collude with the accuser in his implication that there is something wrong with being gay. You abandon your gay brothers, and you endorse the notion that gay men should not be listened to on these issues. The reality is that what you have been saying has made this person nervous. Consider letting him continue to sit in the ambiguity of not knowing whether you are gay or not.

Ask him why it matters. Whether a man who is speaking about new roles for men is gay or not is irrelevant. If the questioner/attacker’s supposition is that gay men have nothing useful to say about relations between men and women, refute this. And add that just as with heterosexual situations, people in same-sex contexts must also negotiate issues of power, mutuality, respect, and consent.

Examine and heal your own pain. If the attacker's implication that you are not “manly” enough hurts you, this is a wound that needs to be healed. The truth is that anyone who identifies as a man is de factomanly enough, and anyone who has brought you shame around these issues was wrong to do so. Whether we are masculine, feminine, neither, or somewhere in between, we who identify as men are all manly enough!

Cleanse yourself of homophobia. If being called “gay” causes uncomfortable feelings to emerge within you, this is another wound that needs to be healed. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. And there is nothing wrong with other people thinking that you might be gay. If being called “gay” makes you feel bad, then you probably have more work to do on this issue.

Address what is going unsaid. When a man who speaks out against rape gets called “gay,” something really, really horrible has just been implied about straight men – that all straight men endorse rape. When you get called “gay” for criticizing men who get women drunk in order to assault them, the person who called you “gay” just called all straight guys rapists. And that’s not o.k. Point out this implication.

Resist being bullied. Understand that someone calling you “gay” for speaking out is quite possibly an attempt to bully you into conforming to regressive gender norms about men and women. Resist the bully! Don’t let him control you!

And, finally, one possible response is simply to be gracious:

Just say: “Thank you.”

"Man Up"

I find the turn of phrase "man up"to be pretty cringeworthy, and I also find most things that come out of Angle's mouth to be cringe-inducing as well, so imagine my face when I saw this debate footage. Instances of women using this phrase introduce a whole new level of internalized sexism. If telling someone to man up is tantamount to telling them to "toughen up," are women not tough? Must men always be tough? I'm sure you all can think of many more problematic aspects to this phrase, it's use by women, and especially its use by a politician with such extreme anti-woman views.

On a related note: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/08/sharron-angles-advice-for_n_639294.html

"It Gets Better"

In light of yesterday being Anti-gay bullying awareness day and of our conversation about it in class last night I found this article about the It Gets Better project which is a Youtube video project started by columnist Dan Savage. It features videos from adults to gay, lesbian and transgender teenagers with one clear message "It gets better". I think these videos will be a great comfort to teenagers who have to endure bullying, so that they know they're not alone and that it does eventually get better.

Barack & Curtis: Manhood, Power, and Respect

A short documentary film examining the contrasting styles of manhood exhibited by Presidential Candidate Barack Obama and Rapper/Mogul Curtis Jackson, aka 50 Cent.


Be sure to read the director's statement, too. 

5 Things Society Expects of Men

As I was searching on YouTube, for videos about masculinity, I came across this great video of “5 Things Society Expects of Men.” Since this class primarially relates to masculinity, I though this short video is very humourous, yet appropiate. These are 5 things that women expect from men. The talk head asked the questions to a male to see if these expectations are fair and accurate.

One of the five things that society expects from men is that: men need to make more money, which is “the essence of being a man, making money.” The man said that is is almost true. In today’s society, families are living more of an egalitatian lifestyle. Therefore, it is not always the men who are the breadwinners.

The second expectation is “Win, Win, Win. You have to be competitive and win at all times.” The man said that this is very true. That what is masculine is to WIN! However, the video states that if the man doesn’t have a naturally competitive nature, it doesn’t make him nessecerily less of a man. Following that is: Men should be physically strong. The man says its not about physically strong, its all about being mentally strong. The fourth expectation is that in order to be a man you need to know how to fix stuff. Lastly, to classify a true man, you must be able to give a women pleasure.

In conclusion women may have several unrealistic expectations from men. I recommend watching this video on five things that society expects from men.

Inviting Husbands, Fathers and Sons to Help End Domestic Violence

Posted by Esta Soler on October 15, 2010 at 02:54 PM EDT

When he proclaimed October to be National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, President Obama said, “Ending domestic violence requires a collaborative effort involving every part of our society.”  He couldn’t be more right.

I remember a time when domestic violence wasn’t discussed much in public, and when it was perfectly acceptable to joke about it.  In those days, if there was a serious public conversation about abuse, only women were inclined to join it. 

Today, I am so proud that men work alongside us, in every facet of our work.  This October, the men who run sports teams, businesses, media outlets, foundations and community centers are just as likely as the women who run them to be taking part in National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

The inclusion of men is also evidence of our steadfast focus on prevention.  To end abuse we must teach the next generation that violence is always wrong.  Boys listen to their role models, so we all need to encourage men to teach boys to reject violence against girls and women in all its forms. There are tools to do that here.  Today, any man who wants to help stop domestic violence is welcomed and supported.

October is an important month for those of us who work to end domestic and sexual violence.  People are paying attention to the issue.  At a time when four women are murdered each day in this country by current or former husbands or boyfriends, when rape and sexual assault plague college campuses, when teen girls think his jealous rage is a form of love, when adolescents think violence is a normal part of dating, we have a lot of work still to do. 

We are so proud to be able to do that work with an Administration that is truly committed to stopping domestic violence ¬ and to know that, as we go forward, we will have millions of men with an unwavering dedication to this cause at our side.

For information and resources about domestic and sexual violence, please visitwww.womenshealth.gov/violence.  For more information about the Violence Against Women Act, please visitwww.usdoj.gov/ovw.

Esta Soler is the President of the Family Violence Prevention Fund

Animal House trailer: have things changed much at all?

The "bromance" has been branded as though it's a new era for the twenty-something dude film, but National Lampoon's Animal House (1978) and many other movies of that time profited on the same raunchy humor and adventurous pursuit of women. The only real difference, in my eyes, is that this is the focus is on a larger fraternal organization, rather than one single male bond. Any thoughts?

Bitch Magazine: Policing Masculinity

Interesting post from Bitch Magazine about female politicians policing masculinity in male politicians. I do find it interesting that all of the women lean more to the right, which may have something to do with their deeply rooted belief of traditional gender roles? But then I remember it's politics, and personally I think they could all (left, right, everyone in between) "step up their game" but that's besides the point, really. It made me think of how many times I've made such statements, like "man up!" or "wow, that takes balls" whether it's in response to a male or female friend/family/relative.

Barbershop

So yesterday morning I took my son to get a haircut. Normally when he was younger and not to long away i found myself never wanting to go the barbershop. In NY everytime a girl walks into a barbershop its like time freezes and you feel your skin burning from how hard they are looking at you and not necessarily your face ;)... So this time around i said screw it i'm going in! The minute a woman walks in the topics change and the attitude of the barbers seems to have a flip on switch of decency and respect( which is great when you think about it) But it had me wondering the following? Is the barbershop a place for woman? When was the last time you saw a woman as the barber? Well i came across this article of a woman in NJ who has retired from being a barber after 50 years. Even though i'm aware that this is a blog for Theorizing masculinity. My real question is what is going on behind those doors before a woman walks in?

Just for kicks i figure i would attach a picture of my little one and his new haircut :)

Fairvilla Event

Cristina Calandruccio asked me to promote this event in all of my classes. Not really a masculinities topic, but tangentially related, I suppose. It should be fun.

How Gay Masculinity Challenges Hegemonic Masculinity

NWC

So I got to see this play in the Student Union becuase i happen to do all my studying there. This play was completely amazing, made me both cry and laugh. They tackle on hard racial issues and also gender ones. The link is the youtube clip of them. there website is also nwclive.com

Enjoy!!

man of the house

I had a conversation with my friend about this song. I hate it! I think its kinda silly, really outdated. But it was on Fantasia's latest CD. I'm definitely a Fantasia fan, but these lyrics provoke a conversation about gender roles and empowerment.

Was wondering if anybody had any thoughts on these LYRICS...

If we dont got it I’ll go get it (it ain’t a thang)
And if it’s broken I’ll fix it (I dont complain)
But now see it’s gettin’ a little out of hand,
Cook, cleaning, providing taking care of little man
You want to talk about who’s wearing the pants
Baby well I dont understand

[Chorus 2x:]
(If you gone) be the man,
Then be the man,
Cause if you can’t
Baby I can,
I can and I will so
Figure it out
Which one of us gone be the man of the house

[Verse:]
(yeah, hey)
Boy, I just don’t get it
(You ain’t supposed to act like a little boy)
Just cause I’m independent
(Noooooooo)
You walk around with your chest out
Like you the one
But if I don’t do it
Then it won’t get done
I’m a good woman
But I’m not dumb
You gone be the man or my son

[Chorus 2x:]
(If you gone) be the man,
Then be the man,
Cause if you can’t
Baby I can,
I can and I will so
Figure it out
Which one of us gone be the man of the house

[Bridge:]
And I’m sick and tired of
Being the boss for us
(being the boss for us)
No this ain’t the kind of love
It’s supposed to be
You want to be
King of the castle
(ohhhh, you want to be)
You want to be captain
You gone have to work a little bit harder for that to happen

[Chorus 4x:]
(If you gone) be the man,
Then be the man,
Cause if you cant
Baby I can,
I can and I will so
Figure it out
Which one of us gone be the man of the house

Men Growing Up to be Boys

This article may be a little old, but I thought it was interesting and still very relevant.

Mens Story Project

I came across this website and found it intresting and thought i should share.

Venus Boyz

During the opening scene of Venus Boyz, the audience immediately can see what Judith Butler says when she writes about gender being performative. Bridge Markland tells the cab driver, "I play man, but I also play woman." The interesting discourse between ze and the cab driver, when he asks if ze "plays husband or boyfriend" further reminds us that society believes in binaries and traditional gender roles, while others believe gender can be fluid and is a broad spectrum with more than male/female. Bridge also states that ze believes doing drag is political for hir, which honestly is something I never thought of. Sure, I always enjoyed drag and found it to be funny but also amazing to see people playing with gender in that way, but political? After viewing Venus Boyz, I definitely see it that way -- subverting gender roles, making people think, bordering between the feminine man and masculine woman and everything in between is absolutely making a political statement.

Halfway through the film, Judith Halberstam discusses the butch/femme dichotomy, and how some folks can turn it on or off. In her essay "Transgender Butch: Butch/FTM Border Wars and the Masculine Continuum", she writes that "masculinity is [seen] as a limited resource, available to only afew in ever-decreasing quantities. Or else, we see masculinity as a set of protocols that should be agreed upon in advance." Halberstam continues by saying "there are a variety of gender-outlaw bodies under the sign of nonnormative masculinities and femininities." I think Venus Boyz accurately displays that: many of the people interviewed stated that they fall somewhere in between, or even outside, the wide, ever-expanding spectrum of gender, and some folks don't consider themselves either masculine or feminine -- like Storme Weather, and don't feel the need to categorize themselves. Society constantly wants to place people in two checkboxes -- male or female -- and it leaves little space for the in between. This documentary proves that gender (and the performance) doesn't have to be either/or, that it can be fluid or a constant state of flux or neither or both all at once.

Eradicate Masculinity: One Pakistani Muslim-American Man's Perspective

An interesting read...thoughts?

Metal and Masculinity: Pt. 2

Here's the second part of "Metal: A Headbanger's Journey" about gender and sexuality. I would like to examine a couple points in this documentary and expand on them a bit.

Sam: "And of course the big debate perhaps is that groupies are percieved as being objectified and powerless--"

Pamela: "That is so lame! Because they're exactly where they want to be. Women who are hanging out with bands are not dragged and coerced into the bands' bedrooms or back stage or buses or anything. They want to be there. They make every effort in the world to get where they can be with these bands, and they're doing exactly what they want to do."

The assumption that groupies are objectifies and powerless is, in and of itself, a sexist sentiment. It assumes women aren't sexual beings, don't want to be sexualized, that they all aspire to the ideal of the proverbial virgin. If anything, the people being objectified as sexual objects in this relationship are the male performers. They're the ones who are the sexual trophy, they're the ones being conquered by these women. To assume that this can't happen is also a sexist sentiment. It assumes that all men want lots of sex, which may not always be the case.

"And then finally you start realizing, shit, this is a job too. You know? It's a business. It's not just constant partying."

"When I got off the road and I decided I was done, it took me a long time to be able to embrace a woman, with any integrity at all; they were all pigs. And you start to, you know, it, a lot of these guys, you know, are still headfucked about it. You know what I mean? A lot of these guys still try to live that lifestyle because they don't know anything else. But, you know, you become a product of that environment."

Vince Neil of Mötley Crüe (first quote above) seems to have been horribly impacted by the "sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll" philosophy. His name is associated not only with the band, but with sex tapes and multiple accusations of assault on sex workers. It would be hard to argue this has no relationship to the lifestyle he maintained in his band. Having a 24/7 all-you-can-eat buffet of women may have made it very difficult for him to mature and adapt to normal society, and in a way he was a victim of that lifestyle. Much like how women sex workers may start stereotyping all men as pigs, heavy metal artists who were contantly exposed to sexually driven women may have lost respect for all women. With such a loss of respect comes consequences.

I wouldn't go so far as to suggest that heavy metal and rock 'n' roll are the devil's music, and bad for everyone, and should be banned. Absolutely not. But I would suggest that, when it comes to the sex part of "sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll", all parties have a responsibility to consider the gender consequences of their actions. Treating men as sexual objects is playing into patriarchy in just the same way as the objectification of women is.

"When we get on stage, people give us a great deal of respect, which is fantastic. But, um, I've been in bands before Girlschool, but I've been on stage, people asking me if I'm 'tuning the guitar for the guitarist' or, you know, that sort of patronizing comment. 'Cause they don't expect a female to get up and play guitar. But, you know, that's the way it's always been."

That's one thing that metalheads pride themselves in, is that they're equal-opportunity, and show a great deal of respect for people who participate but are not the mainstream. This doesn't just apply to women; when non-whites begin participating, the community is enthusiastic and embracing, and shows a great deal of respect toward them. At the same time, there's always the risk of tokenizing them.

When I suggest metal is a "celebration of masculinity" one of the first things opponents do is point to females in bands. They completely disregard the fact that these women are respected specifically because they perform as men, that they demonstrate and embody masculinity. If they don't embody masculinity, if they speak of women's issues and the experience of girls, if they demonstrate any sort of femininity, they are rejected, in the same way nü metal and hardcore bands are. Take for instance the band Kittie, who frequently speak directly to female listeners in their lyrics. Like Slipknot, this band is not taken very seriously in by metal purists, and often rejected from the genre entirely. While they don't get called "pussies" or "fag music" like a male band might, you might hear someone say "they don't count."

"They tried to put me a little bit more into the, you know, female sexy image, but without power. And I didn't like that. And the people at the record company said, 'Get rid of the black leather. That's number one. Be more of a girl.' And I said, 'Oh no no no no no I can't, you know, I can't do it. And I don't want to do it. I definitely want to, you know, be myself.'"

So while fans love to see women "wearing the pants" in metal, that's not to say they haven't faced resistance in the scene. Record labels know that sex sells, so the assumption is that, if you have a female artist, you need to sexualize them to make bank. Even the members of Kittie feel pressured to look good in order to be successful. This is a conflict male performers don't really have to deal with. But for the women in metal, they find themselves more successful when they resist being turned into sexual objected, and, I would argue, would fail or be rejected if they gave in.

Sam: "Is having kind of a tough persona on stage, is that important to you"

Angela: "Yeah, yeah. Because I am tough on stage. You know? I feel very strong on stage, and I want to give that to the people in front of that stage. If you can just have a lot of strength and power, and want to give it to these people and they take a bit of that home."

Even though they are women on the stage, in a way they are still participating in homosociality, in that they emulate masculinity for a masculine audience (regardless whether the audience members are male or female). The main goal is to share that masculinity, that power, that rebellion, that freedom, with the audience. It doesn't matter what the sex of the performer is.

Venus Boyz.

Wow, what a fascinating movie Venus Boyz is! This film vividly portrays female masculinity in a way that many people can relate to. The individuals in the movie believe that they lived as either a man or women in there past time. I think that this movie gives people a different perspective on the transgender world. Transgender individuals are people who do not conform to culturally defined traditional gender roles associated with their sex. This movie makes me realize that it’s perfectly ok to go against the norm. Not everyone fits into the heterosexual or homosexual category and this movie proves that it’s ok.

After watching the movie, I was looking up several film reviews from the movie to see what other viewers thought of Venus Boyz. Here is a film review from The New York Times. I thought it was interesting to read what they had to say.

http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/review?res=9B0DEEDF1739F931A1575BC0A9659C8B63

In addition, this movie relates to topics in which we have discussed in class. It relates to many of the discussions from Men's Lives. The movie reminds me of the discussion article that I lead the class with from article 8 of Men's Lives, The Act-Like-a-Man Box. From an extremely young age boys are told to "Act like a man." They are taught to hide their feelings, appear tough, and most of all never be caught crying. The author explains in the article that this set of expectations is like a box. The book states that it's a "24 hour a day, seven day a week box that society tells boys they must fit themselves into." Venus Boyz reminds me of this article because the people in this movie do not fit into the "Act-Like-a-Man" box category.

Use of religious power to seduce young men

Metal and Masculinity: Pt. 1

Here is a clip from Sam Dunn's documentary "Metal: A Headbanger's Journey" that explores gender and sexuality in heavy metal culture. If you ever get the chance, I highly recommend watching this documentary in full, but for the purposes of class, I'm just going to share the gender/sexuality parts with you.



I would like to examine a couple points in this documentary and expand on them a bit.

"Heavy metal has always traditionally been male-dominated. Fact. It was a boy's club, in the way that the music was very aggressive and wasn't particularly sympathetic towards getting a female audience. It wasn't excluding them deliberately, but it's the way it went."

Here, note that he is speaking of the unintentional isolation of women from the metal culture in the past tense. While women aren't anywhere near equally represented in the culture today, it's much better than it once was. In the '80s, perhaps 10% (Dee Snyder's estimation) of the audience was female (and many of them stood on the sidelines, "holding their boyfriends' jackets"), you now have closer to (in my estimation) 30% of the fanbase female. Even in some of the more abrasive genres, you're starting to see a lot more women at these shows fully participating. The last time I went to see Amon Amarth (death metal, gutteral vocals, viking warrior-themed), 1/3 of the audience, easily, was female, which I found very surprising. Many female-lead bands, such as Arch Enemy and Nightwish, have fan bases that are more predominantly female.

In the last 20-30 years, the shift in gender roles in our culture has made the masculine themes of heavy metal much more accessible to women. With more and more families composed of two working parents, and women playing a bigger role in the workplace as they fulfill their career aspirations, the strong music and "working-class ethos" of the metal culture are not as foreign to the female audience as they once were. Male fans are generally very welcoming of this shift, and, though they respond with surprise when they see a woman in a mosh pit or spewing growling vocals, they praise and encourage the participation, rather than shoving them out of the action or booing them off stage.

Whereas, it could be argued, emo music has feminized men and created a "crisis of masculinity", metal is starting to do the complete opposite, masculinizing women. But no one is calling this a "crisis of feminity" because if women are giving up their femininity and starting to act more like men, nothing of value is lost. I would also argue that metal isn't what's changing women in our culture; the changing fanbase is just a reflection of paradigm shifts in our culture. Similarly, with emo, I would argue that men in our culture are becoming more feminized for other reasons, and then gravitate toward emo, not the other way around.

"So strength is one of the elements [of metal], but also using tools very effectively is another part of that working-class, masculine ethos."

This was particularly interesting to me, and I had never thought of it this way before. Despite its rough outer appearance, heavy metal is extremely sophisticated musically. Performers should be able to play riffs, solos, improvise, etc. Back stage, they have a very tender, affectionate relationship with their instruments, and treat them almost as if they were their babies. If you are NOT able to achieve the high level of skill expected of a metal musician, you are ridiculed and feminized. Bands that call themselves metal, but aren't very good, are rejected by purist fans and sequestered to "lesser" genres such as hardcore, punk, and so-called nü metal. These genres are often ridiculed, assumed to be compensating, called gay, their fans called fags, and generally seen as outside of the masculine metal box. This isn't because the bands are considered "girly" or anything, however. It is because they lack skill, and are therefore seen as weaker, inferior. If they try to call themselves metal (or if anyone else tries to call them metal), they are put in their place quickly.

Note, that metalheads don't feminize/ridicule all musicians and fans of these genres necessarily. It is only when the fans and musicians attempt to catagorize these lesser musics as metal that the hostility shows. For example, no one at Metal Club would ridicule me for having Sum 41 or Linkin Park in my music library. They would, however, berate me if I tried to play their music at a club meeting as a means of claiming it as part of the genre.

"If you want to call it sexist, you could, but you'd be missing something. Masculine in Western culture means freedom. And women are always trying to tie them down and domesticate them, so that's part of the masculinity element"

Given this statement, it's easy to understand how metal became so obsessed with Satanism. Satan is not seen as an evil force (except perhaps in the roots of some of the earliest bands like Black Sabbath and Rainbow) so much as a great symbol of rebellion against an oppressive (in this context, feminine) God. In Viking metal, the phrase "The White Christ" doesn't imply purity; it implies cowardice and weakness. Satan is glorified as a rebel; case in point, Symphony X's "Paradise Lost" and the Norwegian black metal scene.

"Metal is probably the last bastion of real rebellion, real masculinity, real men getting together and basically beating their chests."

Notice that this member of Slipknot is saying this over clips of hardcore dancers "moshing" in a pit. The irony of this is that Slipknot is one of those nü metal bands that any metalhead worth his salt will tell you is pussy music, and that the kind of so-called "moshing" shown is a hardcore style of moshing (2-stepping, windmills, "hardcore dancing") that is not generally acceptable in purist metalhead circles. The dance style is more aimed at inflicting harm on others and deflecting self-injury, rather than real moshing which simulates diving into combat head-on, a style of dance that almost encourages you to get so rough that you hurt yourself. Indeed, I have seen people get injured and bloodied during mosh pits, only to later show off their wounds and receive high-fives and horn salutes for their brutality. The message here is that to really be masculine, you can't be afraid of pain. Interestingly, the message also seems to be that masculinity doesn't mean going out of your way to hurt others (unless of course your willing to sustain injury yourself).

And while I'm on the note of bashing Slipknot: he also says here, "Yeah, I love women and I'm totally respectful to them, but at the same time I'm a guy. I like hanging out with guys and doing dumb shit." I'm not really sure what he means when he says he respects women, since this statement is coming from a guy who dehumanizes his entire fanbase by calling them "maggots". He also equates masculinity with "doing dumb shit" which, honestly, isn't all that respectful of men either. If anything, it seems to me he confuses boyishness with masculinity. These are arguably not the same thing.

"I don't know how to explain it. I never questioned my sexuality at any point, and I was up there in lingerie! And my wife, then girlfriend, she was the one dressing me up half the time. I was going 'Okay, great, whatever. Stockings? Let's do it. It's gonna get more attention, it's gonna get me in trouble, let's do it. Gonna freak people out? Fuck yeah!'"

"What are you going to do if you want to rebel, as a man? You gonna get an even more severe suit than your dad? You know? You can't go that direction, but you can genderbend... so that being feminine is the most masculine thing that you can do in this world."

Tales of rebellion are part of the warrior stories that are central to the expression of masculinity. We live in a period of relative peace, in a world where we don't have to fight and kill on a regular basis to defend our home or feed our family. Themes of rebellion in metal are not always about fighting a righteous battle, such as in Iced Earth's "The Glorious Burden". In metal, musicians that dress in women's clothing and sing about Satan probably don't see themselves as oppressed, so much as they see themselves as having fun by picking a fight with cultural expectations. This can be seen in the attitudes expressed by glam metal and shock rock artists like Dee Snyder here.

When I talk about metal being a "celebration of masculinity", opponents often cite either token female artists, or glam metal. In a sort of reverse-psychology sort of way, being feminine is an expression of masculinity, in that it is an act of rebellion against gender norms, and also that a man must be very secure with his masculinity in order to emulate feminine characteristics.

"Heavy metal/rock 'n' roll is very masculine, very hetero. When a guy's up there in his skin-tight pair of leather pants and he's humping the air, they're not looking at it as, 'Awe man, he's shaking his dick at me!' They look at it as, 'Yeah man, yeah, fuck that chick. Whoa, man, I wish I was him; he must be getting laid!'"

Metal (today, at least) isn't overtly hostile toward homosexuality. When Rob Halford reunited with Judas Priest, he was welcomed with open arms. The gay guitarist in Dragonforce is sometimes teased for his sexuality, even on stage by other band members in front of a live audience, but the tone isn't any worse than any other homosocial interactions.

The phenomenon of males viewing other strutting males is another form of homosociality just like any other; there's nothing homosexual about it, as Dee Snyder confusedly seems to think ("Some doctors need to look into this. [laughs]"). I think, when compared to hip-hop, it's a much more healthy expression of masculinity, in that it never uses the commodification of women in order to achieve masculinity. If it does, it's very rare, and it's not in the same tone as hip-hop where men see women as "bitches and hoes". Listen to the lyrics of Mötley Crüe's "Girls, Girls, Girls" and you'll notice it's more about men taking pleasure in the female form, and even romance: "Girls, Girls, Girls / Long legs and burgundy lips... Dancin' down on Sunset Strip... Have you read the news / In the Soho Tribune / Ya know she did me / Well then she broke my heart."

Pro Wrestler Mick Foley Finds His Next Opponent: Sexual Violence

I saw Mick Foley (a.k.a. Pro Wrestler Cactus Jack) on my flight yesterday morning. I did not necessarily know who he was except that my plane neighbor was enamored. I looked him up on my phone and was like, "wow...interesting guy." He stuck out like a sore thumb in first class (not that *I* was in first class but I was in an early row so I saw him there;). Anyway, I posted his pic on FB because it was a random sighting and was then alerted to his wonderful work against sexual violence. Check this out (along with the title link...then look into him more if you don't know who he is). I am really interested in his simultaneous upholding and challenging of masculinity through his work. When we watch Wrestling with Manhood, it will also be useful to think about Foley, since the film is highly critical of pro-wrestling culture and its relationship to violence against women. He is now a prolific writer, an activist against sexual violence, and still films TNA wrestling (at Universal Studios in Otown). He basically bucks social expectation while challenging thinking about masculinity and violence against women. I'm envisioning a future Men Against Rape speaker possibility... :)

Venus Boyz Discussion

Respond to Venus Boyz in relation to any of the discussions, texts, or other films we have examined in this course. Think about how this film and/or its characters challenge(s), uphold(s), complicate(s), and/or provide(s) new insight (or not) into masculinity and gender as a construct or, as Judith Butler asserts, "performative"? How do you respond to the film's treatment of gender, trans issues, spectacle, etcetera? Does it marginalize or bring "other" to the center (or some variation)? Explore the Venus Boyz website (linked below) and respond to any component of the extended discussion on the website. You may or may not abide by these prompts, but I would like to see connections to other texts/discussions we have explored re: masculinity. 


Press Kit: including Interview with Director Gabriel Baur and interviews with performers (etcetera)


Venus Boys website (including quotes from Judith Halberstam I would like you to consider in your response): Click on "Topic" at bottom of screen then click on "Quotes from Halberstam".


You may choose one of the readings listed on our schedule for this week (I expect you to read at least one of them) and integrate this into your discussion. 


You should also respond to at least one classmate and engage in dialogue about the film. It should be evident you watched it and are making connections to the course as a whole, including various theoretical positions we have explored thus far. Your response should be a minimum of 250-words long. DO NOT SIMPLY INCLUDE YOUR OPINION OF THE FILM, but also connections and critical analysis. 


Hope you enjoyed it! Leandra

Shad - "Keep Shining"

Here's an alternative view to what we saw in Beyond Beats and Rhymes.



Lyrics:

I roll with clever broads
With goals like Federov
Seeking better jobs
instead of running scams like Set It Off
Some aren't the smartest but they know what they stand for
They don't let jams disrespect 'em on the dance floor
And though they never hit College like the Danforth
For damn sure they got each others back like a Jansport
Girls in a league of their own like Geena Davis
Nina Simone ladies, Tina Fey chicks
Christina Applegates and Bonita Applebaums
That don't mask and say, "nothing" when you ask what's wrong
That's what's up, they can laugh it up
And they don't pass the buck
Nothin's for certain, we all have to trust
Someone
I used to want to find the love of my life
Now I'm tryin' to live a life of love
It's not just a husband and wife thing
It's something that Christ brings
True beauty doesn't run from the light
Keep shining

And I've been known to talk about women
on a track or two
I talk to women, I just can't talk for women
That's for you
We need women for that
More women in rap
Even tracks like Kwali's Four Women
That's still only half the view of the world
There's no girls rappin' so we're only hearin' half the truth
What we have to lose? Too much
Half our youth aren't represented, the better halves of dudes
So we don't hear about your brain, just your brains
How you rock a fella, Stacey Dash dames
We just need your voice like an acapella
Something in the music's gotta change
A lot of things
It's funny how words like, "consciousness" and "positive music"
Can somehow start to feel hollow, it's
Become synonymous with polishing soft collagen lips
On the face of race politics
Well you can't be everything to everyone
So let me be anything to anyone
The world turns and there's clouds sometimes
But there's no such thing as a setting sun
It always keeps shining

My mom taught me where to keep my heart
My aunts taught me how to sing two parts
My sis taught me how to parallel park
Tried to teach me math but she's way too smart
My grandma in her 80′s is still sharp
My girl cousins an activism at art
They taught me there's no curls too tight
No mind to bright
No skin too dark to keep shining

Rebranding Menstruation.

Since men menstruating as a thought experiment was such a hot button issue during last class, I was so pleased to stumble upon this blog post, which my friend Kate, a Women's Studies graduate student who is currently teaching an Intro class, posted on Facebook. It specifically references "If Men Could Menstruate" and works from the idea that women should be collectively empowered in their ability to menstruate, and use it as a means of uniting together against certain other ills, such as domestic violence, as with the "Some girls bleed more than once a month" ad. Enjoy!

A Series of Questions

Click me for the photos

This ongoing body of work explores the power dynamics inherent in the questions asked of transgender, transsexual, genderqueer, gender-variant, and/or gender non-conforming people.

Many documentary photographic projects that deal with trans issues exploit the genders of their subjects, pointing to an "otherness" or inappropriately exoticizing their bodies. "A Series of Questions" seeks instead to make visible the transphobia and gender-baiting that can become part of everyday interactions and lives, forming a fuller picture of the various lived experiences. In so doing, this work contrasts with the dehumanizing approaches that predominate the images made of transgender and transsexual people, which often focus solely on their trans status or use them to further a specific point about social construction and gender.

The subjects, self-identified people of transgender, transsexual, genderqueer, gender-variant, or gender non-conforming experience, hold signs depicting questions that each has had posed to them personally-- some by strangers, others by loved ones, friends, or colleagues. Presented on white wooden boards, the questions are turned on the viewer, shifting the dynamics under which they were originally asked, and prompting the viewer to cast a reflective, self-critical eye upon him or herself, revealing how invasive this frame of reference can be.

As a greater number of subjects and questions are accumulated, a relentless conversation of questioning emerges. Presented together in democratic, square format, the images show how each question relates to the next, directing attention not on the backgrounds of the transgender and transsexual subjects, but on the dynamics at work in these conversations. I am interested in uncovering the typology of these questions, discovering what categories of questions emerge as the script of power dynamics and interrogation is flipped.

Skinny Bitch

I have just finished reading Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. This number 1 New York Times bestseller is "A no-nonsense, tough-love guide for savvy girls who want to stop eating crap and start looking fabulous." This is a humorous book that teaches women how to look and feel their best by avoiding “eating crap.”

It portrays descriptions of how animals are slaughtered and killed in the slaughterhouses. The book is aimed for young women and gives you pointers on how to become healthy by eliminating meat, dairy, fish, and poultry from your diet. It indirectly persuades you to try the vegan lifestyle.

After completing this book, it’s crazy to me how much emphasis and pressure is placed on women to look their best. It seems like women always have to look good, but its okay for men to be heavier to still be successful in society.

These are both really successful women who maintained a healthy lifestyle by following the suggestions they gave in the book. They guide women to help make intelligent and educated decisions about food.

Watch this short video where the TODAY Show interview the authors of Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin.

bathroom duty: a diary from the bowels of masculinity

hey ya'll,

hope everyone is having a good semester. i took this class a year ago, and i had a great experience. i hope the same can be said for all of you. anyways, i'm gonna plug my blog here: bathroom duty because i think it is relevant. i work in the bathroom at various local clubs, and am witness to some crazy aspects of masculinity. hope you enjoy reading.

"Delusions of Gender": The bad science of brain sexism

Books to go on the shortlist

More Links

Two blogs I read often that discuss trans issues are Questioning Transphobia and The Spectrum Cafe. I mentioned one in class last night so wanted to give you all a link. Enjoy!

Film Review Possibilities

There's so many amazing films to choose from to do our film review on, but I wanted to mention two that are lesser known that I think would also be great.

Soldier's Girl is based on a true story that deals with masculinity & the military as well as sexuality. It's an amazing film and I suggest everyone watch it (though very difficult to watch in many parts). I took an Art of Film class a few years ago and we watched this which amounted to some great class discussion.

Another one is La Mission, another one dealing with sexuality but also a lot to do with machismo and Latino masculinity. Bonus: this one is on Netflix instant viewing, if you have it.

bell hooks' Love for Black Men

Volunteer/SL opportunity

The Zebra Coalition is working on starting a hotline for GLBTQ youth in our area. They want it to be run 24/7 so lets try and help them out.

There is a mandatory trainnning session on Sept. 25th from 9am- 3pm. For more information click here

The Secret Lives of Boys and Girls

This is an interesting discussion regarding the "nature vs. nurture" sex/gender debate. Leandra

Def Poetry - Mark Gonzales - As With Most Men

As with most men it is easier for me to give hugs than to accept them
Lest the truth be known that men
are nothing more than emotional sky-scrapers built with glass infrastructures spray painted the color of steel and nick named strength
Strange isn’t it?
what walking contradictions are we called men
Men are taught to colonize at the age of 5 through gangs like cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians
At the age of 8 we are given helmets, and told to hit each other in the head with it,
Bleed but do not bleed
Cut but do not cry
Be a man
Join the military
Die for your country
And if death comes to you look it in the eye and say
“bring it on motherfucker I fear nothing…but intimacy”
When it comes to intimacy men quiver like fault lines, crumble like cities
What walking contradictions are we called men.
Men sign peace accords while abusing their wives
Accept the Nobel Peace Prize while reducing health care
Pledge to rid the world of terrorism, while simultaneously denying government aid to any country that defends a woman’s right to choose
During the 1970s, the US government forcibly sterilized an estimated 50% of the indigenous population of America’s mid-west
Telling them the process was reversible
Can you say ‘biological terrorism’?
And in a global war against terror maybe testosterone is the real terrorist
And if so, how many of these star spangled singing, flag waving citizens
Would continue to do so if terror was not racialized
But gendered
Would the US military turns its guns on itself
For its sex crimes throughout South East Asia, Africa and the Americas?
Would MTV be firebombed for its objectification, hypersexualization of our womens of color’s bodies?
Would we stop looking towards the Muslim world for misogyny and instead turns our sights to Madrid, Montreal,
New York
Los Angeles
And now understand my sisters when they say “every woman has a story that’s been told a maximum of once or maybe less”
And that is why you will never hear me call a women slut, bitch or dyke
No matter what she does
‘Cuz I do not blame her
I blame the men who have emotionally and physically raped her
I blame these corporations whose images tell her they hate her
And I put my arms on her shoulder and tell her how grateful I am to God that she created her
Men take note this is how you give love
This is how you receive hugs
Press flesh to flesh
‘til breasts crumple
Like emotional origami


--

Just came across this and felt it was appropriate to share with the class. I found the text transcript on a blog and I think it's mostly accurate

Just a Side Note for Week 3

This week's film like every other film in the Womans studies minor have enlightened me and always leave me wanting to know and learn more. But on a side note i'm not much of a music enthusiast with any specific genre but i did get in touch with my best friend and whom i like to call my Hip hop guru. The music that was seen on the video i like to think to consider are a subgroup of Hip Hop. I was very disappointed that he only had JadaKiss,Fat JOe and several other artisits but which only mostly represent main stream hip hop. Although they are artists that represent mainstream media which are affecting the higher % of boys and young men, there's another side of hip hop mostly what is called underground Hip hop which is more social conscious and oriented towards talking about issues that we see which is artists like Nas, Big L, Inmortal Technique.The youtube video is the song of Blu & Exile- Show me the Good life(excuse the language). And although they are what we consider mainstream the music brings out a message. This is what in my opinion is real music.

Sorry on the delay but i've been working on this post for a while, i wanted to point out a good song.I feel this song demonstrates what somne young men are struggling with. Hope you enjoy

I got a call from my girl last week
She telling me about that time of the month, and how it may not come
Dropped the phone right before she said i might have a sun
And i started asking God how come
I got dreams i aint reach yet, ends that aint meet yet
And when it comes to being a man, shit im barely getting my feet wet
Trying to hit reset, knee deep in debt
Trying to figure how you feed a mouth that aint got teeth yet
How the hell am i gonna show a child to be man
When im twenty two without a clue on how to take a stand
Against the system when its just us
Wanna show him justice, but last year i was just in cuffs
The fuck am i supposed to do when he's telling me dad i need some food
Im looking down at my stomach and mines is rumbling too
What could i tell him when he's twenty two
And he's asking me what the fuck was i thinking when mommy's tummy grew
Was i scared? was i getting prepared?
Or did i even think of leaving him without a father's care?
Should i tell him that its hell here and life aint fair?
Or should i try to make a change when he's pulling on my leg
And he keeps on telling me to....

(show me the good life)
Show me (4x)

Wont somebody show me, its a few things my popa never told me
Maybe cuz his stone is still rolling, no moss yet
Its a few things my momma never told me to mold me
But her soul is so golden the way she floss it
And i aint mad at they secrets though
Its a hard sell to tell a young child bout ya' deepest low
But i done seen through they weakness so
I understand a little bit on how defeats can slow
You so far down that your meekness grow
And everyday it get colder when the breezes blow
Grandmomma sat me down said you need to know
Boy you a little light in this world, let your heat just glow
Have patience, some things take time
It aint no limit to the goals you hold in ya' mind
Let the soul in you climb to you reach the gates of heaven
Like your chariot its carrying children who've gone blind
And you gone get them they sight back, when all they see is night black
Believe in every thing that you doing and just like that
Things'll happen for you, keep shinning them rays
Its bright enough to spread grace over a million graves
Of a million slaves, to bring honor to the elders
Who held us away from danger, when the danger would've killed us
They never failed us, let they souls have peace
And follow in they footsteps, you brothers to keep in this good life

(show me the good life)
Show me (4x)

Its so much i can show you, without rolling through beverly hills
Without money, cars, clothes or even ecstasy pills
I dont need weed to ease me when im stressing, fa'real
I just close my eyes and try to think how heaven feels
Just to feel good again, even though i know when i open them
Its back to the hood again where kids hold chrome with them
Just to feel protected cuz the videos are showing them
How to shoot fools and take they doe from them
Thats why i try to give my soul to them in lyrics i spit
They reject it cuz they stressing for material shit
They getting sick and tired of fighting over cereal gifts
Cuz they notice bitches go head over hills for the whips
And the chains, and the chips, and the range and the clips
And the guns, and the women and the fun
Living in cribs in the 'burbs, fuck the slums, they want funds
And they heard flipping birds is the ticket
They get it and they run with it
Some slip and fall, others pause, see the out come and call
On the Lord for some change cuz the game is too hard
To play straight by the rules, im trying to stay out the news
And make cake to buy food, fuck jewels
I think my soul glows bright enough, and fuck whips
I learn more when i ride the bus, and fuck gold
Its bad enough that we fight for bucks, and fuck hoes
Cuz in the end i need a wife to love
Plus heaven is the life for us, so God...

(show me the good life)
Show me (4x)

Bem Sex Role Inventory (BSRI)

Here is the link for the Bem Sex Role Inventory referred to in the Macho article from Week 3. This one is cool because it will score for you--which categories "seem" masculine, feminine, neutral? Who decided? This was created in 1971 (the inventory itself)--do you think it would measure differently if created today?

More about BSRI (lots of ads in the article but it's informative and accessible).

How did you score? Do you think it's accurate? Are these categories even measurable?

Ballet over Boxing / Film: Billy Elliot

Check out this film: Billy Elliot.

I haven't seen it yet (just ordered it on Netflix) but it looks great and relates to our Men Speak Out reading, "Straight Guys Can Dance, Too" by Jared Margulies (pgs. 40-42) and our class in general. Some web descriptions below:

Set against the background of the 1984 Miner's Strike, Billy Elliot is an 11 year old boy who stumbles out of the boxing ring and onto the ballet floor. He faces many trials and triumphs as he strives to conquer his family's set ways, inner conflict, and standing on his toes! Written by filmtwob

1984: In a northern England mining town, miners are on strike and the atmosphere is tense. Eleven-year old Billy Elliot, whose father and brother are participating in the strike, whose mother has died quite some time ago and whose grandmother is not completely aware of what's going on, doesn't like the brutal boxing lessons at school. Instead, he falls for the girls' ballet lessons. When his folks find out about this unusual love of his, Billy is in trouble. Being supported by the ballet teacher, Mrs. Wilkinson, he keeps on training secretly while the work situation as well as the problems at home get worse. Finally, Mrs. Wilkinson manages to get Billy an audition for the Royal Ballet School, but now he also has to open his heart to his family. Written by Julian Reischl

Against the background of an increasingly bitter miners' strike that his elder brother and father are involved in, young Billy Elliot finds he prefers joining in the girls' ballet class at the local hall to the boxing he's there for. The ballet mistress soon realises he has real potential, but no-one, least of all his family, is likely to go along with a lad doing dancing. Written by Jeremy Perkins

Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes

Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes (the film)

MEF Study Guide (info, insight, questions)

PBS Discussion Guide (info, insight, classroom guide)

How does the film relate to the notion of caveman masculinity, hegemonic masculinity, Butler's gender performance, or other theories we have examined thus far? 

Where does R&B play into all this? Is(n't) R&B a more positive reflection of masculinity/manhood in African-American contexts? Is R&B like emo where masculinity is concerned? Or is R&B such a different aesthetic that it doesn't touch rap (especially gangsta rap) culture sufficiently? 

The Spring Break groping/filming scenes are (in)tense. Where is the line between "reflecting culture" or "acting out" and straight up sexual assault? Who decides? What do you make of that behavior in the film as related to hip hop, popular culture, and/or masculinity?

So much to say about this film. Think about it as you read for next week's class and make connections. Of course we can talk about all of this all semester. Feel free to respond in any way, shape, or form...these questions are just food for thought. 

Leandra

My thoughts on the readings for week 3

As I was reading through this weeks stories in Men's Lives, about cultural constructions of masculinity, I really learned a lot about men. I've learned that it's not so easy to be a guy and all men are not created equal after all. This chapter is primarily about Asian men not being treated equally as other men in the United States. The next chapter that I read is titled "Boyhood." The articles in this chapter talk about how boys develop and the factors that shape boys lives. After reading all of the articles I now have a better understanding of men's lives and the "Theories of Masculinity."

Just as a side not because we have been talking about the "caveman theory," John Tobia who is running for Florida House District 31 has said the following:
“If I ruled the country men would still be beating their women, and dragging them home by their blonde hair” –John Tobia

This is definitely a serious issue because not only is this man running, he is currently in the seat right now! He has said other things against women implying that they are not competent enough to vote and such but just this specific quote goes along with everything we talked about concerning the "caveman theory" and how it plays out in society.