We are a product of the way we are brought up, as are our parents and the generations before them. As I am in the midst of the Netflix documentary, ‘Surviving R. Kelly,’ this concept has become relevant, even in relation to celebrities. I specify his role in society because we so often put celebrities on a pedestal that makes them seem invincible, without reminding ourselves that they are simply people, with flaws like the rest of us. Though I have heard bits and pieces of the story, I am just now truly finding out how much of a menace this person is, and my heart goes out to every single individual hurt by his actions, poor choices, and predatory behavior. It is now within my understanding that R. Kelly is, himself, an assault survivor. But trauma does not translate to being an excuse for the ill treatment of others. I think that the most striking piece of this whole scenario is the existing power dynamic between Kelly and the young girls he preyed upon. This is an age old dynamic that is abused over and over again by men in high positions, trading fake promises for sexual acts from underage girls. It is also difficult to stomach all of the red flags that have popped up over the years, such as his marriage to fifteen year old Aaliyah. R&B culture and racialized masculinity met in a way that allowed individuals to turn a blind eye to the situation and make excuses.
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