Promiscuous Boy

Thanks to the emergence of the Me Too Movement, all of us have been forced to revisit some moments where we may have experienced abuse, coercion, harassment. Some have had to revisit it in the form of a predator, others as the victim. Some may have not been aware of it at the moment. Recent conversations about consent have sparked us to rethink a lot of our experiences. Whether we like to or not.

I revisited a lot of moments in the past year alone - some filled with abuse, and there are others.... those other ones that are mainly just odd. They were not abusive. They were not exactly harassment. But they were certainly uncomfortable.

Here is an uncomfortable non-consensual moment:

About a year ago, I had gone through a breakup from a short-lived relationship and decided to try to dust off his memory by going on a date with this guy who I mildly had a connection with. He picked me up at my house and tried to hand me the aux chord to his car as soon as I got in. What a 21st century gentleman. I turned down the aux chord because my phone did not have much charge. We were on route to a fancy movie theater for an exclusive showing of The Florida Project (it's amazing, by the way so watch it if you have not already). He decides to put some of his music on and gives me chances to pick out some songs. He does some slight critiquing of my music taste, which I don't really appreciate, but I laugh off. "Not a big deal. Guys always think their music taste is better than everyone else's", I thought to myself. About two songs in, he decides to play "Promiscuous" by the one and only Nelly Furtado featuring early 2000s hit-maker Timbaland. 

I want to point out that this man has seen me jam out to a lot of early 2000's songs because we both frequent the same karaoke spot and I cannot be humble and say I am "pretty good" at these songs because I am FUCKING GREAT at these songs.

As the song starts, he immediately says "Let's sing the song! You be Furtado! I will be Timbaland!"

"YASSSSSSS", I said. Very excited to jam out to some primetime Nelly Furtado pop jams. 

By the second verse, I already start messing up the lyrics because it has been a while since I have sung along to this song.

"STOP!", he yells. I honestly thought something was seriously wrong. He proceeds to correct me and restarts the song. We start from scratch and - "OH MY GOD", he exclaimed, "you messed it up again." At this point, I nervously laugh, he corrects me again, and we start over. Messed up once again, started over once again. 

We get about halfway through the song and I forget some of the words. He pauses the music and tells me to look up the lyrics. "It'll be easier this way. We have to get it right", he explains. I am a bit confused, at this point, not knowing whether his obsession with getting this right is admirable or plain weird. I tell him that it isn't necessary. That we can rehearse some other time and perform it at our karaoke spot one day. He does not budge. "We have plenty of time now. We have thirty minutes left of this ride. Besides we are going there to see your movie choice.", he said as he was trying to guilt trip me into yet another attempt at this song. 

Attempt #5. I am not as enthusiastic about this as he would like me to be. I am looking out the window wondering which upcoming stop would be the best for me to jump out of the vehicle and make a run for it. 

"It's like you're not even TRYING", he confusingly debated.

I put my phone down, turned to him and admitted, "I don't want to keep doing this. Can we listen to a different song?"

A few minutes of silence go by.

I sigh in relief thinking this is all over.

"AWWWW C'MON ON. JUST ONE MORE TRY. We are gonna get it RIGHT this time.", he says determined as he blasts "Promiscuous" one more time.