Sunday, November 29, 2015

My Cheerleader

Let's just start off by saying I am super lucky and super grateful to be dating the man I am. I have dated many different kinds of men and women before including jerks, abusers, and just some that didn't care in general. But being with the person I am with today has shown me a lot of great things about men when they have good morals and are supportive in every way. I grew up with my biological father not really being there, always having excuses for not seeing me or helping my mom out financially. And then when my mother married my step father I got to grow up without my biological father at all and a very emotionally abusive step father. I did not have the kind of man in my life that I should have. Sometimes I would like to count my grandfather but really over the years I have begun to see just how misogynistic he can be as well.

So when I take a step back and look at who I've dated and realized that while a couple weren't that bad I really didn't know anything more than what I had seen but I knew I wanted something more. That came in my current boyfriend. He has come to show me that there are good men out there. He isn't about having power in our relationship, he never discounts anything I ever say or am into, he is supportive, loving, and doesn't care for gender stereotypes. He believes in just being himself no matter what society thinks about gender roles and is a feminist without even realizing sometimes just how much. He puts others before himself whenever he can but stays away from toxic people and situations. He isn't afraid to be kind or caring or show his emotions. We work together on things and talk issues out. We BOTH compromise or find a solution that works for both of us. My mother though she loves my father gives too much of herself while my step father just takes (and sometimes gives back). For example my father wanted a new camera, he got it. If he wanted a motorcycle he bought it. But when my mom wanted a new dinning room table for the family it took her over seven years to get it. And even when my step father disciplined me in a way that my mother didn't approve of she still stood by him because he is "the man of the household".

So I am glad and grateful for my boyfriend. He makes me see some hope for the newer generations of men. He helps me to believe that men can be better and taught better about how to treat themselves and others. He is supportive in everything I do and I am the same way with him. As we like to say "we are on this adventure together." He really is my cheerleader for other men.

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