The Mask You're In: Who Says Men Don't Feel?

What is the difference between a hero and a heroine?

Throughout history and in every myth, epic, novel or short story, there has always been a strict dichotomy between a heroine and a hero. A heroine can be a gentle mother, a helpful nun, a goddess with beauty and grace, or a warrior princess free to express all sorts of emotions but a man is a dignified, stiff soldier of honor reserved about his thoughts and emotions. This dichotomy has serious social implications towards the inequality with how men and women can function normally in a society.

Most men are inept in expressing their emotions not because they are socially dysfunctional but because society forces them to be this way. Expressing emotions is a feminine trait which is normally exclusive for women. This is unfair for men which sometimes results to some men resorting to aggressive behavior like sadness replaced with anger or fear replaced with violence. Our society is more open to women with emotional expressiveness but sees it unmanly and despised when done by men.

This is a kind of disease that creates the social dysfunction. We have constructed the alpha male to create the idea that the sexes are unequal and it is backfiring. I must admit that we are made unequally because both sexes are special and different ways but both male and females use rational thought and should also have the right to express one's emotions. I cannot remember the last time that I was very upset but I know it stabs me in my chest. It’s a sickening feeling. I wonder if my male friends feel the same way when they experience disappointments and they have to conceal the feelings of sadness and despair. I wonder how they manage. I always tend to compare “venting out one’s feelings” with a volcano vent. A volcano vent is the opening where volcanic gases and ashes gradually escape. It is normal for an active volcano to let out steam from time to time but if it cannot utilize its vent properly, it might cause a massive destruction to the volcano by forcefully creating an opening or a crater. I think, just like volcanoes, our vents our important. If humans will not have the chance to utilize their vents, they might explode and cause a crater. Lack of emotional expression at some point, might cause an immense self destruction.

 I think it is best if we try our best to avoid the prejudice against men who try to express their feelings. It is a human quality not just a feminine quality.